Life For Rent

Yada yada. Guess what? *drum rolls pls!!*

I am down with flu! Yeh oh well the flu bug has been going around the whole camp and being the sick lil boy I am, it finally got to me.

Been taking piriton for the nose and was given procodin by my MO (medical officer). We have a new MO and I am so glad he is around cuz he is really a nice dude. I hope he stays that way. He is like the only hope the whole SAF has in the medical corps!

And I shan’t even start with the medics I encountered today but I shan’t complain much cuz I know the dude and the poor guy did admit he didn’t learn a thing in medic school. Even with all the IVs, he knows nuts. Heck he doesn’t even know how to put the thermometer into this plastic thingie for the mouth. I had to show him how. Me! The patient! *L* He didn’t know how to read the height and weight scales and he even asked me how my pulse rate is usually taken. I felt like telling him, oh the medics usually touch my groin for the pulse. Thankfully he figured how to measure the pulse as a formality using the wrist, and I had to tell him, take 10 or 15 sec and multiply for one min. Heck with enough practice you don’t even need a clock anymore.

Anyway yeh my experience with the medical centre’s good for the first time. But I have been coughing too and I aint in a very good mood at all. But I’m still nice to everyone. Taking all the shit home to throw it around though. That is what I usually do.

It has been a dreary week. I don’t know why. Too much to do in camp yet nothing to do as well. Coupled with this nose thing of mine. Thank goodness all my trainees stay clear off my path else I would have snapped at them.

Gonna take a break from assignments and home work thankfully. It is all done for now. New ones coming up in a few weeks. And should I do my on campus module in UK this may? hmmm…

Anyway think I should take some rest. Lotsa stuff on my mind these days. Suddenly. Again. Not good not good. Need to clear them away.

Anyway here’s some pictures fresh from the oven for your viewing. Starring rach my lil sis who’s visiting from perth. Hope she had a good time while she was back.

Take care ppl, watch out for bush fires and the air quality and the flu going around. Last but not least, good night sleep tight and don’t let the bed bugs bite.

OK I really didn’t wanna talk bout this, but I can’t help it.

I finally took the NEL mrt today! *L*

If it weren’t for chingay maybe I wouldn’t have taken one in a long time still. Not till they build a station near my place. I feel so sua ku (mountain tortise) you know. I was convinced by rach and gerald to park the car remotely cuz the streets might be closed. In the end it wasn’t. Maybe cause it was at the end stretch of the procession. But sometimes it pays to be careful. Sometimes a risk is worth.

I caught constatine today. Very satanic and seemed to protray a religious side more than anything. Perhaps there is an underlying story behind it that I didn’t grasp. Most of the scenes followed the comic I hear, but they changed certain things here and there. I would have enjoyed matrix better. I didn’t flip over the show, but I do remember End Of Days, and I think I would prefer that. Constatine is almost like a medley of different films into one. That is the feeling I get. But it is a comic. And for genres on this nature, X men 3 would be my favourite. I enjoyed it so much heck I even watch the cartoon when I am on duty in camp.

I have been working on my accounting assignments, on financial ratios. Anyone good in them, care to lend an opinion or two? *L*

I better get to work for now. More shout outs, soon.

Have a good weekend!

Has anyone encountered times with rich people, and by rich I mean material comfort. Own a house, maids, luxury cars. And then you spot behaviour such as :

1. Driving their jaguar to school textbook sales that cost barely a couple dollars, usually meant for the less well to do families, and make off with literally any book they can get their hands on. Where do they head to? To another book fair for another ’supermarket sweep’.

or

2. During cny, they go visiting friends and families, and as guests their children receive ang pows. On their side though, they conveniently ‘forget’ to give ang pows to their hosts’ kids. Amazingly they have forgotten for about 6 years running now.

I am not trying to pick on the 10 dollars 20 dollars petty things. But what are they thinking? A friend of mine was just complaining to me about some people he knows who are like that. Go overseas, and expect a waiver of excess baggage charge when they can afford to pay hundred times the amount required.

I actually attribute it to the sense of achievement in getting away with things. Something like, if I were rich and I can afford to buy anything. What would thrill me more than to make off with something, even if its 50cents. Cuz this would be at the expense of someone else, and it sorta makes the person feel ‘good’. I don’t know what’s the right word. Cheap, slut, sicko? damm the list goes on.

I didn’t study psychology, but I guess it wasn’t that hard to figure it out. How do we get rid of them? We can’t. If we can’t beat them, we join them. hah hah. Just kidding.

The ultimate price they would have to pay, is to be exposed in public. Rich people want their face. Put their face on the wall of china for people to kick on or spit on, I’ll guarentee you’ll never hear from them again. Well not at the same place/spot twice anyway.

For many homosexuals, coming out is said to be the toughest to do. It is said that no one is ever fully straight (heterosexual) or gay (homosexual). It is the wish of many, if not all, to be accepted for who they are. But how do we show our true self to our best of friends and family? When is the right time? What is the best way? So many questions, yet rather few answers.

Coming out is a multi-step process, not a one-time event. Sorta like in stages. Don’t be like Brian from QAF, went up to his dad and go “I’m gay” and expect that to be the end of the whole thing. It might work for him, for he doesn’t really care what his father thinks. I doubt this is the same for most of us. Coming out requires careful and deliberate planning.

Coming-out is target-specific. You decide who you want to come out to. Your friends? Siblings? Parents? It is not realistic to come out to the entire world at once. A targetted approach is necessary, say for a homophobic parent vs an open minded buddy of yours. The approach would be different. For a homophobic friend, you must just decide not to come out. Aint worth the time, or effort.

Coming out is goal-specific. What do you want to achieve that sets the benchmark for successfully coming out to that someone. Do you just want to let your friend know, and hope he or she will accept you for who you are? Or your parents whom you hope they will still love you all the same.

Coming out is situation-specific. This has to do with time. This answers the ‘when’ part of the whole topic. Decide beforehand when it is the best time to come out. On your friend’s birthday? After the completion of your studies? When you are financially stable? When you have a stable partner whom you are prepared to spend the rest of your life with? Or perhaps, when directly asked if you are gay?

Many would still ask, so should I come out? There is no universal answer out there for you. It depends on what you want, and the situation around you. Naturally if you know your parents will disown you/chase you out of the house, then you might wanna wait till you are financially independent. So when should you come out? I would say, take your time. When you know what is happening around and you are ready to be in control of what you are doing then perhaps it is time.

Let’s suppose I decide beforehand that I will
-come out to my mum (target-specific)
- after I graduate from university and land a job (situation-specific)

I want to come out to my mum because I … (goal-specific)
- want her to stop asking me why I haven’t got a girlfriend
- want her to support me in my efforts in seeking my future partner
- want her to accept and get along with my future partner
- want her to recognise our relationship and give us her blessings
- want her to move in and stay with us so we can take care of her

I know that I may not achieve all my goals, but I will be satisfied if … (define “success”)
- my mum stops having unrealistic expectations of me
- my mum comes to terms with the fact that I will move out one day to share a home with my lifelong partner.
Having the right attitude and expectations is important. I understand that coming out is a multi-stage process which involves prior preparation and subsequent follow-up. I tailor my strategy to the person I have decided to come out to. I accept that success is not immediate and much patience is needed and I may face numerous obstacles along the way. However, I believe that the advantages of coming out outweigh the troubles I may face in doing so, otherwise I should rethink my decision to come out.

There are two aspects to homophobia, namely, the intellectual and the emotional aspects. For instance, a psychiatrist with access to scientific data may come to accept at the intellectual level that homosexuality is found across many species within the animal kingdom and is therefore not ‘unnatural’ in humans. Still he may feel disgust at the thought of two men having sex because he is not used to the idea (not acclimatized). This is the result of mental conditioning. Though most of us feel comfortable seeing a man and a woman kissing on TV our great-grandparents would probably cringe. This is due to differences in mental conditioning. Some gay men cannot stop feeling guilty and ashamed over their sexual orientation and need to seek professional counselling. Again this is due to mental conditioning. Many heterosexuals are uncomfortable talking about homosexuality, feel awkward and nervous to be around people who are homosexual. This is the result of mental conditioning. To undo this mental conditioning takes time and effort, this is why we should not expect success to be immediate and effortless.

Throughout the coming-out process, a conscious effort is made to:
- inform and educate (an opportunistic approach works best)
- identify and correct misconceptions
- modify negative perceptions
- address concerns and fears; provide reassurance
- help the target person work through negative emotions (e.g. feelings of digust, shame, guilt over a child’s homosexuality)
- be creative, pro-active and resourceful in trying different approaches
- seek professional help if necessary

Moving onto a little more on sexual orientation : -

Sexual orientation is, to a large degree, defined by whether someone is aroused by a member of the opposite sex or by a member of the same sex. Sexual orientation is also expressed by who the individual falls in love with. Human sexuality falls on a spectrum, although the media often portray male sexuality as if most men are either straight or gay. I prefer to think of it as, no one (male or female) is ever fully straight or gay(where gay is a general term for homosexuality used for both sexes).

Contemporary science is moving toward the view that sexual orientation is genetically programmed, although existence of a gay gene or genes have not yet been confirmed. There have been some intriguing clues that genetics does indeed play at least the major role.

Many homosexuals are aware of their sexual orientation at a very early age, perhaps nearly from the moment they become sexually aware, and obviously there are many men who are clearly heterosexual, or straight, and have no same-sex interests whatsoever.

No one yet fully understands the mechanism by which sexual orientation is ultimately determined, and theories cite genetic and environmental factors, with the theories involving primarily genetic factors gaining increasing support, in part based on studies of identical twins.

Interestingly, if sexual orientation is entirely based in genetics, then identical twins should always have the same sexual orientation. Studies have indicated, however, that if one identical twin is gay, the chances that the other twin is gay is between 60% and 70%. This argues that environment does play a role in some instances.

However, the fact that many homosexuals appear to have already determined a sexual preference at a very early age supports theories which suggest only a limited role for the environment and family-related factors. The determination of what is arousing and what is not is not a matter of conscious decision. You don’t get to tell your brain what you find sexually arousing: your brain tells you! Being gay does appear to run in families, and there are many instances where both a father and son are gay. Many gays are also able to identify other close relatives–siblings, uncles, etc, who are gay.

Gay men are very much like straight men, except for the fact that the sexual arousal mechanism is primarily, if not exclusively, triggered by persons of the same sex.

Gay men are just as mystified by why women trigger the arousal mechanism in straights as straight men are mystified by why other men trigger the arousal mechanism in gays.

The vast majority of gay men are not in any way dissatisfied with their sexual orientation, which they see as the very essence of their being.

Many of the sexual stereotypes of gay men portrayed in the media are inaccurate. Many straights (in part, based on media stereotypes) believe that most gay men are really women living in men’s bodies, that is, men who would have preferred to be women, if given a choice. Researchers have found that this characterization, popular in the media, to be a description of only a tiny percentage of gays. The vast majority of gay men are very happy being male, have no interest in dressing or acting like women, or undergoing a sex-change operation. Indeed, from all outward appearances, they are indistinguishable from their heterosexual counterparts–except that their sexual arousal mechanism is triggered by persons of the same sex.

The vast majority of homosexuals are living lives very similar to men within the straight community, holding down stable jobs in all types of work and searching for loving, lifelong relationships with a partner–just as straights attempt to do.

If I had to talk about a personal pet peeve. I dislike people categorising homosexuality as an abnormity. Excuse me, how do you define normal? How do you know that as a straight you are normal, and a homosexual abnormal? First of all, as a fellow human being, I have no right to declare someone as adnormal. Handicaps are handicaps. They are not abnormal.Crimminals are crimminals. They are not abnormal. They deserved to be punished and shunned from society till they realise their mistake, but they are not abnormal. It is the behavior, and the attitude, that we find abnormal. Having sex with babies is abnormal. Killing someone else is abnormal and should not be condoned. What right do we have to take someone else’s life away? Would you like someone to do that to you?

A person with a busted ankle walks abnormally. But he is not abnormal. There is a thin line that seperates the two.

And we haven’t even come onto religion yet which is a whole different topic altogether. But if you are interested to know my stand as a Christian, in short, is that God, the perfect being made us. That we do not question. All of us have flaws in us. Every single one of us is imperfect. If we were all perfect then we would all be Gods. As a child of God, He loves every single one of us. Black or white, fat or thin, straight or gay, we are all His children. The question of being fat or thin should not affect the love He has for us, the same way if we’r straight or gay. Straights commit adultery and what not as well. Are they any better? I don’t think so. We are all the SAME. And I will say it again, we are all the SAME. Straight or gay, fat or thin, tall or short, black or white. And since God made us the way He did, He will love us the way we turn out to be.

Believe in yourself, through Him.

Hi everyone. It has been a long time since I last posted. CNY came and went and I survived it, thankfully! But I’m ill now which explains why I have the time to write this now though I’m in the midst of doing my assignments and preparing to go for classes (yes work is not important, classes must go!)

It is VDAY and it is a bit mean to go for classes when my dear is out tonight. But I think my dear would rather have me attend classes instead.

There is nothing much to mention over the past 1 week. Sadly the most exciting day turned out to be on the second day of cny when I reported for duty and they shocked me by putting me as guard commander. I usually perform the role of 2 i/c but the guard commdr decided to fight for his rights as a chinese to not do duty, and the RSM actually agreed with him and upgraded me to guard comm while an RP assisted me as guard 2 i/c. Waht was he thinking?! Am I not chinese too? And you know what this whole thing is so ridiculous. You can’t just upgrade someone like that. But never mind. Nuff said.

I have been ill, yes since duty day. It got worse over the weekend and I’m on medical leave till wed for this really bad throat infection and high fever. In the absence of my tonsils, the infection has infected another area. I don’t really know what is happening, but it seems like it has been like this since I was young. I was expecting fewer occurances of infection with a lower form of severity. It is not so for this particular episode.

Starlite i will look and reply to your last post soon. Been too ill and everything to sit in front of the comp for too long.

Anyway I gotta run. Will post again when I have my head back.

Meantime have a good week everyone

Sitting at home, working on an assignment on the computer.. felt a little bored and tired so I went to ’some’ forum and was reading on some stuff when I came across this post that said “All Christians are whores anyway”.

I shot this reply : I particularly dispise such generalisations. Sure, everyone’s free to say whatever they want but I don’t think it’s very nice to go along the line similar to ‘all gays are sluts’. It is quite clear which post I am refering to. An extremely unfair statement. I rest my case.

He then shot this reply : Oh pls step off the high horse.Christian whores have been calling gays, pagans…etc all kinds of names condemning them to hell…etc… *shrugs*Cant take your own bitter medicine eh?

And I shot back : Posted: Feb 3 2005, 04:54 PM

There is no denial there are some who do that.

So are you going to imply all muslims are terrorists? Cuz that is what you are doing. Exactly. But your comments are of someone who sees a green bean and assumes all beans in the world are all green. Period. The best joke of it all, you willingly share that close mindedness out in the open. You don’t have to offend me, or anyone. But you will with such statements.

–

Nuff said.I don’t think I will bother to answer any of his rebutts cuz it is quite pointless. Instead I answered another post : Well you definitely shouldn’t call all of them whores, cause I’m one who’s trying to help anyone tormented by this problem. If he can’t/doesn’t want to change, so be it. But if he wants, he may. Its that simple. No matter gay or straight, God still loves his children. If I discover that I still like guys when I start to work, so be it. All sins are sin, who cares what they are. Just ask God for forgiveness and everyday you shall be. ALL humans sin, cause we are not perfect.And Christians that curse gays are bastards. Fark them. (OOPS, sorry God! )

With : I do agree with you. Even among the so called Christian community, why do we have different denominations and all. It is largely man made. Man, who is born imperfect. As such you see variants, just like a computer worm, where people seem to deviate away and do things in the name of religion.

Same goes for the muslims who have been under fire for the longest I have ever known. Muslims not allowed in certain army camps. Muslim officers can expect promotions later than their counterparts belonging to other racial groups.

hahah curse those who curse at gays. Well I can’t stand on the other side on this can I? They curse you, you curse back at them. Just like what someone has done, made a killing statement. I won’t be surprised if a war is triggered between both communities.

Indeed God loves his children. If being homosexual is such sin, and that we are made by God, what does that imply? Very contridicting, a question that I have never been able to resolve. But that’s not for this thread.

There are loads of people who try to be straight. Perhaps they are but strengthening their bisexual side a little more. Anyway as someone once said, no one is ever fully straight or gay. How true. We all sit in between, and in between we should be happy.

–

On a lighter note.. I went back to the hospital for my medical review today. You know I really highly suspect the qualifications of the ’specialist’. These guys have just finished their degree, gone back into SAF to finish their NSF liabilities as medical officers, and here they are at the hospital seeing patient in specialist clinics, under the guidance of senior surgeon should they encounter any difficulty.

This MO I saw, gave me information 10% of what my physiotherapist told me and 5% of what my GP told me. I saw another senior consultant for a second opinion months back and I sorta fully understand my condition already. Yet when I questioned to ‘test’ the MO, he couldn’t give me straight answers.

My point is this. Referals are bullshit. When I am given a referal, it cost $20 (free, for SAF personnal). I am given a referal cause my medical problem cannot be handled by the doctor I was seeing, hence I need to see someone who specialises in the particular discipline. Why send me from one MO to another? Okay I admit the MOs at the hospitals go on discipline tours every few months. I saw the same MO from ENT to orthopaedic and it just seems like seeing the MO in my camp, just that I get to talk to the former for a few more minutes.

Perhaps there are too many referals. Gov doctors give out too many referals and the hospitals decide to do a screening by MOs first. If the case warrants the attention of a consultant then the patient gets to see the consultant. So my question is, what is the point in going for a referal?!

I paid 70 bucks out of my own pocket to see a specialist. He gave me different diagnosis from the initial diagnosis. Someone I know, went to ’some’ doctor in AH, got scolded and said it is just a sprain and he is there to chao keng. I recommended him my doctor, and the doctor yanked around at the leg and recommended downgrade cause he could feel the calcaneum area had some loose ligaments caused by a tear many months ago.

What are the implications? I have no idea. I attend the reviews cause the gov insurance scheme pays for it. When I ORD I will just stick to seeing my own family doctor for my medical problems. And yes, SAF only endorses medical reports and stuff from gov clinics, so I HAD TO go to a hospital to get letters and memos and all anyway. Oh well, since they like it that way, I will just take my medical appointments as ‘time off from camp”.

In the service industry, they say the more you pay the more you get. It is not entirely true but by far, it is true to a certain extent. I just feel in the medical field, though it is also a ‘business’ but they should be more professional in their field. I should not be ‘buying’ to get things done. What if I paid a few hundred more for a doc to write a letter so I will be downgraded permanantly? If that happened, what will happen to the medical profession?

Sigh. I do hope I can stop rumbling about this once and for all. I just get very upset whenever I see ‘these’ people. However my occupational therapy sessions has ended. I have regained full function of my right hand. If anyone ever requires occupational therapy (they provide treatment for patients whose daily activities have been impaired by injuries or disease) I would recommend Tan Tock Seng Hospital’s OCUT. Thank you Heidi, and Pamela (who is working on attachment while doing her degree in OZ). The physio dept in TTSH is the worst I have ever seen by far. I used to attend both centres and the service attitude from the counter staff to the therapist is worlds apart. Heck the physio people did not even bother answering the phone and I witnessed why. I needed a cancellation of my appointment but decided to just do a ‘no show’. Why bother calling? I always get a voicemail and no one ever returns my call.

Yesterday it as my unit’s Single’s activity. Now a person can either be single, or married. And that is the hard part. Cuz so many of us are attached anyway. But we had a speaker while sampling the high tea at Cafe Vienna (Royal Scotts hotel) who gave a talk on making first impressions. I learnt so much from the talk..and being someone who masters in psychology, it can be quite scary sometimes. Cuz she can look at you and assess you, and your attitude towards events happening around you. Scary.. But I have learnt a lot. I can’t share much here cause I would need to demostrate the stuff she taught. But one thing I can share is, we have heard people tell us to look at the eyes of the person you are speaking with, from day 1. Our mothers always say “look at me when I am talking to you!”

The speaker mentioned about a talk she once did and this senior officer from the SAF approached her with this problem. He was told to look into the eye of the speaker cause it means you are paying attention. He was doing just that during a meeting conducted by his boss. Some 10 mins into the meeting, the boss banged his fist on the table and yelled at him “What do you think you are doing? Who do you think you are??” And the poor dude did not know what he did wrong.

Don’t look into the eyes. The ang mo books say that, and it doesn’t imply they are right. How comfortable would it for you if someone looked into your eyes when you speak to them. Try it. The trick is, glance into the eye of the other party, and then take your eyes away to the nose or around that region. Glance occasionally. People feel intimidated when you look at them for too long, and you can tell cause they start to feel uncomfortable and they look away. Unless of course they have superior complex or something.

She talked about inferior and superior complex. It isn’t something that is you. People tend to say, hell this is the way I am, don’t ask me to change. In this society where many people have the same qualifications as you, or higher, you need an edge. And when you attend the interview, when you walk through the door, within 10 seconds your interviewer would have made a 30% score on you. People who suffer from superior complex, companies are not going to hirer them. They will bring trouble to the company eventually, they say.

Handshakes…a good 4-5 ‘ups and downs would be good. Notice the westerners do it for a longer period. They begin “Hello how are you? Reply : Good, and you? It is a good day isn’t it?” and throughout they are shaking hands still.

Anyway, the first person who offers the handshake, is one up. ie, score extra points. Exceptions however include someone who is higher ‘ranked’ than you. And you don’t shake hands with muslim ladies, and stuff like that.

We learnt how to talk to people by approaching them first, how to stand properly. Mostly we discussed how not to strut around like I do and give people the impression unconsiously that we are arrogant, nor walk around in such a way that people will know you are someone they can step over. Smell to impress. Stand to impress. Speak to impress. That is what we learnt. There was lots to cover but we only had one hour..Sadly.

By the way, has anyone ever complained about the service levels we get ,while the westerners seem to get more than us? And we blame these service people? I think sometimes we ought to look at ourselves. How many times we talk into a restaurant and we simply ignore the person at the counter and just go “where is my seat?” or something similar. We simply do not even regard their presence. The westerners on the other hand, walk in, smile at the staff and are extremely polite with their requests. A huge difference and I have noticed. Next time you walk into a restaurant, or even NYDC, try smiling at the staff first before they even ask you “table for how many?”. I was a waiter/server once. I know how much a difference that can make.

The food was pretty alright. But pricey. The variety at cafe vienna has always been fantastic. The prices are ‘fantastic’ too haha but we had subsidies.

It is gonna be a short short week next week, but not before I hang out with rach and gang for some good steamboat tomorrow. And perhaps a good show with my dear. I wonder what I have on sunday, in my head somewhere its telling me I have something to do yet there is nothing written on my planner…urgh.

Take care guys.