Life For Rent

Here is the fact of the day! Brought to you by the good people of sillypore.com.

Mendelssohn’s famous ‘Wedding March’ was actually a funeral song !! It was purportedly composed for a king who died and his will was that all his mistresses are to be buried with him, dressed in wedding gowns, hence the wedding march.

Now you know!

I caught The Eye 10 recently. Very unlike the 2 prequels. In fact it is not scary but more of a comedy, taking a slap at some of the scenes from the prequel. The moral of the story is clear, don’t dabble in things you don’t know about. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing! But I don’t understand what is the old man at the bookshop’s main aim in causing all the chain of events..What does he gain from it all.

Watch it if you need a laugh, but don’t expect the fear factor to be anywhere near the prequels, or the scariest show of them all yet, Shutter. Freaky…

A song that I have been listening..

Represents a lot of things actually. Somehow it appeared at the right time. I shall share the lyrics with you. It is very likely it will hit the top 3 songs for march. So stay tuned for it, if you want a listen to it.

I am quite ill now. Dunno if I am up to a lot of things..but I will try. Have a good long weekend all!

Over
by Lindsay Lohan

Album : Speak

I watched the walls around me crumble
But it’s not like I won’t build them up again
So here’s your last chance for redemption
So take it while it lasts, cause it will end
My tears are turning into time I’ve wasted
Trying to find a reason for goodbye

I can’t live without you
Can’t breathe without you
I’m dreamin’ bout you
Honestly, tell me that it’s over
Cause if the world is spinning and I’m still living
It won’t be right if we’re not in it together
Tell me that it’s over
And I’ll be the first to go
Don’t want to be the last to know

I won’t be the one to chase you
But at the same time
You’re the heart that I call home
I’m always stuck with these emotions
And the more I try to feel, the less I’m whole
My tears are turning into time I’ve wasted
Trying to find a reason for goodbye

I can’t live without you
Can’t breathe without you
I’m dreamin’ bout you
Honestly, tell me that it’s over
Cause if the world is spinning and I’m still living
It won’t be right if were not in it together
Tell me that it’s over
And I’ll be the first to go, yeah, I’ll be the first to go
Don’t want to be the last to know (over, over, over)

My tears are turning into time I’ve wasted
Trying to find a reason for goodbye

I can’t live without you
Can’t breathe without you
I’m dreamin’ bout you
Honestly, tell me that it’s over
Cause if the world is spinning and I’m still living
It won’t be right if were not in it together
Tell me that it’s over
Tell me that it’s over, over
Honestly tell me, honestly tell me
Don’t tell me that it’s over
Don’t tell me that it’s over

The hands no longer unite. Affections aren’t equal. Thoughts aren’t intertwined. Souls do not cross.

I watched a show this evening. Aint going to reveal what it is right now cuz it is getting a C, or at best a B- from me. Perhaps it had to do wih the fact I am ill. No one cares anyway. And the company perhaps. And the uncomfortable seats cuz quite frankly my balls were burning up and feeling achy.

I have had better days in a cinema. Much better….Where things made sense and the film was at least enjoyable.

I think I am gonna take a break tonight. I need to rush through my assignment but I can’t do it in this shape anyway. Anyone has any good remedies for a bad cough, a sore throat and a fever? Other than the usual remedies. The temperature at last measurement is 38 flat.

I expect the illness to peak on Sunday. *sigh*

But before I go get my lavender bath and burn my lavender essential oil in preperation of getting a good night’s sleep, I wanna say a special hello to the 2 suckers in a BMW who honked at me as I was getting out of the car at my doorstep. Listen up you two fucking son of a bitch. The only reason why I didn’t challenge you is cuz I was in uniform. You are so damm lucky tonight or I would have hurled the stuff in my hands at your car till you get your sorry ass out and tell me what the fuck is your problem when I had the hazard light blinking. I really hope the next time you hear a honk, it would be a 26 ton trailer coming your way and it would be too late to stop, running you over like a rag doll.. Or hang on. That’s not good enough. Make that someone in your family, and you are just standing by the side watching it all happen. If you have any brothers I hope all of them are gay and look like something I would flush down the toilet bowl. If you have sisters hope they’ll all be lesbians cuz quite frankly with a son like you I don’t think your family should even reproduce sorry ass look-a-likes like you. And oh yeh they” all look like the hottest babe in singapore and her name begins with A. If you think its annabelle chong, don’t flatter yourself or your sorry fucked up family. The first two letters are A and B moron. Guess again. I don’t think it should be hard even for a numbskull like you.

So the next time you honk in the day, you’ll wonder if its mighty mark’s day. I’ll drag you alongside to hell.

Have a nice day…!

My final batch of trainees came in on Monday. A pretty good bunch. Majority of them were A level holders, while poly grads and O level holders make up the rest. Very obedient trainees. I like them! Hope they continue to excel regardless of where they will be posted to eventually.

I heard them singing army songs while running during our bi weekly healthy life runs. It reminds me greatly of the time when I was a chao recruit in BMTC. I like the song “I asked my girl” best. Scouts may know this song, though the lyrics are modified here and there.

“I asked my girl
To take a walk.
To take a walk
Down orchard road.
Bypass Mandarin
To centre point
We had our lunch
At Mcdonalds.

We had fillet
And apple pie
We shared a cup
Of lemon lime
I held her hand
Look into her eyes
I asked her to
Be my valentine

There was one night
There was no light
There was no light
So we used torchlight
..
“

The song goes on..and generally becomes more and more XXX rated. I sit in my office, hear the trainees run past singing the songs…It very very much feels like BMT. My bmt specs were right. BMT is one of the highlights of one’s life. If you look back and find nothing that reminds you of BMT then you have gone through it in vain.

It is a very very busy week. Very very tired. Headaches literally everyday and i am trying to squeeze sometime to post this thing up.

I was just chatting with one of my ex, and fav trainee of all time, Eugene who is now in Nee Soon camp. I shared with him on how I’m feeling and he told me if it has ever occured to me that being with a partner isn’t really the source of my securites? That we all long for love, but we need to find it in the right places.

Of course I knew he was speaking about God’s pure love. Eugene by the way, as far as I know, wasn’t the way he is now before. He changed overnight literally. And his presence in my life, even though as a trainee, made quite an impact. I marvelled at the way he is. Smiling 24h. He tells me there are times when he feels angry and upset still, but he still smiles. You can punish him. You can do anything, he will still smile and accept it. Is he stupid? I don’t think so. Cuz I think all of us are the blind ones. He is able to control his emotions and sees the good in everything. And I appreciate that a lot. And I told him, I look up to him a lot. And it takes a lot for someone 6 years his senior to tell him that.

He may be short. Pretty cute. Soft spoken. Can never exceed even 10% of the voice I can project. Yet he is big at heart. Eugene! I luv ya very much. As a friend of course. Hope you’ll continue to make a difference in people’s lives and do God’s work.

Moving along. I have this story to share with you. Take a read. I’ll catch ya fellas sometime soon. The artiste of the week is..Lindsay Lohan! Watch out for the hits, and a brand new chartlist. Coming up soon..

Sniffy shall be sleeping beside me today..as he always goes. Follow me around..constantly reminding me of some stuff….yet..

Anyway, here goes.

The story took place during the 7th month of the Chinese lunar calendar and revolved around a young lad named Sam. Sam at that time was working as a general worker, in a small company located at Tuas.
During one particular working day, the whole of Sam’s company was requested to work OT in order to meet a deadline due tomorrow. By the time everything was done, it was already past 1 am and Sam was the last person left in the office.

He was left wondering whether there were still any bus services at this hour. He decided to try his luck and quickly tidied up the office, locked up and rushed towards the bus stop. The bus stop was situated by a small narrow road with dense forestation surrounding the area.

Sam waited for about 20 minutes and was about to make his way to the main road to catch a cab when a double deck bus appeared from nowhere. He hesitantly waved it down, boarded the bus and the only person he saw on the same bus was a frail ghastly looking old woman.

The old woman was dressed in white samfoo and black pant, attire favoured by maids in those early days or “Ma Jie” as they were commonly known then. Sam felt uneasy upon seeing her and was about to go up to the upper deck when a voice ranged out in Cantonese, “Young man, don’t go upstairs. Upstairs dangerous.” It was the old woman. Her comment sent a Chill through Sam’s bones and he figured that the upper deck might be “dirty”. He decided to heed the old woman’s advice and grab a seat at the lower deck even though he felt uncomfortable by her presence.

It was an agonizing 20 minutes journey before Sam reached his bus stop. He quickly alighted and turned to steal a quick glance at the old woman, who stared right back at him by the window. Without further ado, Sam hastened his pace and was fortunate to reach home safely.

The next day, Sam was requested to work OT and ended up being the last
person left in the office again. It was already past midnight and Sam was contemplating whether to take a cab home but decided against it in the end as money was tight. So he made his way to the bus stop again
and after about 20 minutes, the same double deck bus appeared.

Sam boarded the bus and saw the same old woman again. He decided to go
to the upperdeck again when the old woman called out to him, “Young man, don’t go upstairs. Upstairs dangerous.” Even though, he heard it before, he still felt a certain fear inside him since it’s the 7th month. To be on the safe side, he reluctantly took a seat at the lower deck again and reached home with no incidents.

The third day, Sam was asked to do OT again. By now he was feeling
dreaded and worried as he didn’t want to repeat the same process again. But he obliged nevertheless since it’s his livelihood. He was, you guessed it, the last person left in the office again. He made the same journey to the bus stop, occasionally checking his back as he walked. The double deck bus arrived, he boarded it and saw the same old woman again. As he proceeded to go upstairs, the old woman warned him again, “Young man, don’t go upstairs. Upstairs dangerous.” Sam was fed up with the old woman by now and decided to go upstairs even though he was feeling a bit scared.

He saw no one else when he reached the upper deck and slowly made his
way to the back of the bus and sat down. Sam’s heart began pounding away as he waited anxiously for something to happen.

After 30 minutes, with nothing happening, Sam went downstairs to confront the old woman and asked her why she kept saying it’s dangerous upstairs………………………………………

The old woman turned, stared at him and replied, “Young man, don’t go upstairs. Upstairs dangerous. Upstairs got no bus driver.”

Well if you guys have noticed, I have put the top 3 songs on the main index page. It took quite a while cause we had some issues with mp3 and wav files compatibility which affected the general output quality. I worked till 5am! Thanks Berdley !!! I owe you more than just a mudpie.

I also promised to watch Miss Congeniality 2 with him. Set!

I really ought to begin on my assigments. Been procrastinating for the past couple weeks cuz I was in zero mood to do anything. It is due soon and if I wanna have fun during the weekend then I had better begin the assignments soon!

New and final batch of trainees for me as well. They will pass out of their course one day before I ORD officially. They begin tomorrow, and yeh I won’t be taking them full. Most of the common phase theory lessons at most.

It’s funny how I seem to notice lots of people around me wanna get to know me. One of my gym instructors told me someone wants to know me even. *L* And this instructor who is also a close friend, believes strongly in horoscope. Here is what he says, I quote :

“Cancer and Cancer can communicate without talking. Rely on intuition and feeling. Both can sulk or cold war for long time see who can last longer, but very lovely together”.

My verdict? The first part doesn’t apply one bit. Not that I know anyway. The middle, maybe. Maybe not. Hardly relevant anyway. Thirdly? I really don’t know. Have yet to see. So you see, horoscopes aren’t realiable. Feel free to challenge and discuss.

I have gone beyond hurt. And hope perhaps. I don’t like a lot of things that are happening, but I’m past talking about it already. Now I’m in recovery phase, and I am glad Berdley is probably healing as well. Well, hopefully? Berdley?

I’m going to take a bus to the gym. Some morons took my car again. I shan’t say who. Made me boil and literally spoilt my plans last night but I guess just as well anyway. I managed to be tamed eventually. *wink*

My new D Link router seems to be working fine. Went to funan and its like, all the routers are all wireless now?! There was that one and only one router that isn’t wireless or offered ADSL support. Why do I get such a laid back router? Cuz I really didn’t want to mess up my network and have to recongifure again. I already have a wireless transmitter and until the next ‘overhaul’ I rather just replace a faulty equipment with a similar one. Yes I am not a techie. Dunno why I deal with IT, but if it aint broken, I aint fixing it. I am very sentimental to whatever machines that work failthfully for me still..:P

Time to go. Thanks so much for all your emails. Jon, Teck and the rest. You are all welcomed into sillypore land 24/7

Take it easy guys, as the weekend comes to a close. I shall end this post and week, with this quote : “Never love a love that hurts and don’t hurt a love that loves.”

Amen.

I just realised how ridiculous the macintosh prices are. Totally ridiculous. Even accessories wise, a crumpler bag makes more sense and cost less than a bag in the mac shop. Gawd…

Marks & Spencer has a new range of bath gels. Some of them look very interesting..but I didn’t get what I wanted. I emailed them anyway…

Off Berdley’s blog :

[Mr. Richard Lim was talking about “Attachment Styles In Relationship", be it coincidental or whatever.

Basically, there’s four different attachment styles, I’d call it a S.A.A.D. (Secure, Avoidant, Ambivalent and Disorganized):

- Secure-style; they are pretty comfortable to whichever style their partner falls into, and they are more often known as so-called interdependant personality.

- Avoidant-style; they are more cautious about getting to intimate with their partner in a relationship, afraid of getting hurt.

- Ambivalent-style; they are more vigilant toward any possible threat in a relationship, will wanna spend as much time with their partner as possible.

- Disorganized; they are more often fearful of rejection and mistrust of others, and if it gets too serious, it will become a psychological illness.]

This one is mine :

-Bochup; to leave your heart at the door and adopt a happy go lucky attitude taking things day by day, in a world where monogamy or marriage or long term committment does not exist.

I was of secure style, with an ex partner. Avoidant after another. Ambivalent supposedly in my current. But right now I think I am in a bo-chup(do not care) style. Cuz that’s how it is. Over the past year or so, I am used to being controlled as a sign of concern. It wasn’t like this with any of my past relationships. Along the way I have ‘mutated’ to whatever style that suits and protect me most. Over the past couple years, I like to feel like I am dependent (to a certain degree) on my patner. I know it is not good cause if your partner isn’t around for whatever reasons, you’ll be dashed.

But I like to be emotionally dependent on someone. I know I am asking for trouble here. If you know me well, throughout my life for as long as I could remember, I depended on myself. I was brought up in an environment where it is not a luxury, but a necessity in order to survive. Independence. And back then I could date someone and when it didn’t turn out I would just shrug my shoulders and move on. With a snap of my fingers. Just like that. That quick.

Today it is different. I have grown to understand what I need. Be less defensive and to open my eyes and heart to lots more things. The downside is that I lost control over many things. It isn’t something I am used to, but I adapted to it eventually.

Over the past few weeks, I feel my dependence going through a phase shift. Shifting to people around me. Namely my friends, and the new people that come into my life. I don’t know if this is good or bad, but that is happening. I have almost regained the dependence I was had on someone and once I gain it back fully, perhaps the inevitable would arrive. I can’t tell the future but that’s an intelligent prediction. It is also for the same reason that long distant relationship will never work for me. I can’t feel or see it happen anytime soon anyway.

When distance grows in one area, it drops in another area. As the distance between you and pt A is getting further, you would be nearer towards pt B. But do you really wanna be at pt B?

It is hard to say. Maybe you are better off at pt B. If your guardian angel so brings you there, so be it. He knows it best. If you decide to turn around and head back to pt A to get something you left behind, you may never reach pt B. But then again, you may never need to.

I don’t like the way some of the things are going, but most of them are outside my control or jurisdiction. For the one or two who are, I think I have done enough for the past 1 yr and 3 months plus. Enough to make what I need and what I want clear, that is.

I really need to focus on my assignments and exams that are up coming. PRIDE day fast approaching. Not to forget atheletics meet which I think I am gonna get called to do something again but have no intention of doing so.

What I need of course still, right now, is some good sleep. Sleep has been disturbing, amongst other things. I am thankful for the vitamin pills given by my mom, and that is probably the only thing that has kept me from being sick.

Next monday sees a new batch of trainees coming into my camp. Lots of 86s, and a couple 87s finally. No regulars in this intake. Wow SAF really has too many regulars eh? hah hah…

Good night sleep tight and don’t let the bed bugs bite.

-Why-

“Why do people fall in love, when they’re always breaking up. Oh why?”

Michael Jackson says it best for me, ironically. That is a question that has been on my mind for a few days. Why do people fall in love, when they all end up with the same inevitable.

Why does tuesday come before wednesday? Why does tuesday come after monday? Why do summers start in june? Why do winters come too soon? Why do flowers come in may, why springtime go away?

As how berdie puts it, there is nothing one can explain the reason themselves.

I feel rather neglected for the past few weeks but am glad I managed to find solace in other ways. Solace that is there when I badly need it. And I am thankful for whatever form solace comes in.

I wanna go eat sashimi at Ikoi to perk myself up. Been pretty moodless for not being understood by someone who ought to be important in my life. Karen and Ian have been asking for a lunch or dinner makan. Stuffing oneself is a vicious cycle. You are unhappy and you eat, and then you put on weight and you get more depressed. But I reckon weight can be lost. The company is however, priceless. Of course this doesn’t apply to berdie who is one of those who have difficulty putting on weight no matter how hard he tries..ARRRGH

Will I have sushi with berdie? Who will I go to Ikoi with?

Why do things have to come this way? Oh why….

A song that popped into my head..

Playing it on my computer now..So many questions. So little answers.

Thought I would share it with you guys anyhow. It holds special meaning tonight somehow. Maybe for the past couple weeks anyway. I shall be sleeping with sniffy tonight.. Who is sniffy again? Stay tuned..

Berdie I share this song with ya..

-Michael Jackson Feat. 3T / Why-

Why does Monday, come before Tuesday
Why do summers start in June
Why do winters come too soon
Why do people fall in love
When they’re always breaking up, oh why
Why do we love if love will die

Why does Wednesday come after Tuesday
Why do flowers come in May
Why springtime go away
Why do people fall in love
When they’re always breaking up, oh why
Why do I love you tell me why

It’s not like I can explain what’s in my heart
It’s just I feel a crazy pain when we’re apart
I don’t wanna breathe, I don’t wannna think
I don’t wanna learn
I don’t wanna do anything
It’s not like I can describe what’s going on
It’s just I feel I’m not alive
When you’re not home
I just wanna sleep, I don’t wanna be
I just want you here beside me
Without you there’s no me

Why does Monday come before Tuesday
Why do summers start in June
Why do winters come too soon
Why do people fall in love
When they’re always breaking up, oh why
Why do we love if love will die

Why does Wednesday come after Tuesday
Why do flowers come in May
Why does springtime go away
Why do people fall in love
When they’re always breaking up, oh why
Why do I love you tell me why

It’s not like I can escape, what’s in my soul
Cause without you inside my heart
Where can I go
I don’t wanna see, girl you without me
I can’t go through life without you
Without you there’s no me

Why does Monday come before Tuesday
Why do summers start in June
Why do winters come too soon
Why do people fall in love
When they’re always breaking up, oh why
Why do we love if love will die

Why do the rivers flow to the sea
In every flow I get your love over me, babe
Why does my heart miss your kiss
To be in love, to fall in love
Why don’t I feel complete

Why does Monday come before Tuesday
Why do summers start in June
Why do winters come too soon
Why do people fall in love
When they’re always breaking up, oh why
Why do we love if love will die

Why does Wednesday come after Tuesday
Why do flowers come in May
Why does springtime go away
Why do people fall in love
When they’re always breaking up, oh why
Why do I love you tell me why
Tell me why
Tell me why

I had my hair cut today! Rather happy about it.. my camp barber..5 bucks. Next time after ORD I shall go down to kimage to look for him.

I received a disturbing sms though. One of my close friends (yet never met, and yes sometimes the closest friends are best that way? I don’t know) is having problems with his relationships. Like I was saying a few posts earlier, everyone around me (including myself then) was having a REALLY bad time with relationships. Why?

Can someone tell me why? Scientifically or otherwise.

Tomorrow is the final day for my trainees before they pass out on thursday. All of them will move onto the next phase in life. In NS life at least. They’ll meet their seniors, all of which would be my ex trainees too so here and there I ask them to watch out for the newbies. Then off they go on Thursday before lunch and in the afternoon I will be going for my physio review at MMI. Bitch with Kenneth again! hah hah

Damm the 3kg I put on from Sizzler hasn’t subsided yet. Or maybe it has. I don’t know. But my legs are tired. Really tired. I think they need some good pampering…SERIOUSLY.

Maybe it is time to visit the one and only favourite massage place of mine..ARRRGH

Lots of ARRRRGH these past couple weeks. Will I survive?!

Actually for the past few months to a year I couldn’t have done it without my kakis. Each of them is so sweet in his own way. One offered to do my last duty for me as an ORD gift. The other sent me an email with pictures that had me in it during our CNY celebrations which I hosted as emcee.

I present to you. One of the highlights of my life, and my soulmates in camp literally, Chao Keng Chao in the middle, and Garang Guay on the right. With me, Mighty Mark on the left of course.

Thank you guys. Thank you for knowing you.