Life For Rent

What’s with people these days. I see incidents of road rage more often these days. Today we had a taxi speeding up from behind and trying to overtake us on a 2 lane merging to 1 lane point at a very critical area. Taxi horns at a SUV who was trying to filter into its lane. SUV backs off but speeds up and horns at the taxi from behind for at least half a minute. (I was out of hearing range by then, as I entered heeren carpark).

I have seen a pedestrian telling a cabbie off for not giving way etc. I don’t know why but I seem to notice a whole lot more impatience on the roads. As for me? I drive a renault van during my working hours, and it has a speed limit so I take my time. And it is a LOT less stressful (minus the fact it is manual and I have driven auto since I passed 8 yrs back, but I picked it up pretty quick!) to just follow one’s own lane and be part of the jam instead of trying to beat it, or worse still, cause one. Lots of impatience….tsk tsk

Checked out a few MPVs today. From KIA and Hyndai to Honda and Toyota. We had a budget to look at, but by far, KIA’s MPVs are all out. Eliminated. Either too small or too large, transmission and drive isn’t acceptable at all. My final pick was the honda stream. For its price and what you get, I think it is the best so far. Toyota’s picnic was the #1 selling MPV but not anymore. Besides their model’s pretty old. Almost 4 yrs now. And extremely common on the roads. But not too bad a drive nonetheless.

Had my hair done (thank you Andy, despite coming in so late) and decided to go to wheelock for dinner at Big O, but was routed to Fish n Co instead hah hah. We were both hungry so the seafood platter for 2 went down fine. Initial plans to have desert at Big O was aborted ( as usual) due to a full tummy

It is a sunday night ,soon to be Monday. Ah…another week… and the next holiday is so so far away….:(

What tomorrow brings, only tomorrow knows..

What is life?

Life is like a vacumm cleaner.

It sucks.

A peek into my playlist. Suddenly I have the fondness of Bee Gee’s First of May once again. It was used in at least one hong kong seriel. Anyone remembers which one?

But anyway, these are the kind of songs i call songs. Music of today, many of which I refer them as tracks instead. A whole different genre..

- Bee Gees / First of May –
When I was small, and christmas trees were tall,
We used to love while others used to play.
Don’t ask me why, but time has passed us by,
Some one else moved in from far away.

(chorus)
Now we are tall, and christmas trees are small,
And you don’t ask the time of day.
But you and i, our love will never die,
But guess we’ll cry come first of may.

The apple tree that grew for you and me,
I watched the apples falling one by one.
And I recall the moment of them all,
The day I kissed your cheek and you were mine.

(chorus…)

When I was small, and christmas trees were tall,
Do do do do do do do do do…
Don’t ask me why, but time has passed us by,
Some one else moved in from far away.

The weather depicts my mood. Continous gloom. Unclear when clouds will clear. Hoping for the sun to pop out soon.

Paranoia. Uncertainty. In control of situation, yet not in control. Would like things a certain way yet there is no best way.There is nothing to choose, or do. The only thing left is acceptance. Withdrawal. Resigned to fate. Unhappy but that is the way it seems to be. Like the weather…goodness knows when the clouds will clear. It will come back, with all the gloom again, but it would be nice to see some sun after days or weeks of gloom.

But there is no sun. All I have is someone who is also ‘under the weather’, experiencing the same effects from it. Someone who could probably understand. Yet similarly, there is little we can do with our lives. I suppose.

There are times when I really hate this country for what’s in here, and what it takes away from me. I suppose I am but a small node in the entire ‘network’. A single cell in a power station.

I am tired. And the dream of tired people like me is to be able to sleep, undisturbed. And perhaps, never wake from the eternal slumber. There isn’t any energy left to do or say anything, let alone care bout what and how people around you feel. Too consumed within one’s own emotions. Overwhelmed by simultaneous changes. I can handle one, two maybe a little tough, but three four five, out of five possible changes that can ever happen, its massive. The devastation. The impact. The pain. And soon, the ‘tap out’.

I have been really busy starting out a new job and all. It is true, working life is not easy these days. Gone are the days where you belong to the company from 8-5, 5 days a week. Now with technology, it is 24/7, and expectations are so much higher. Blame IT? I don’t know. But it’s a point noted during my info systems management module.

And work and school, definitely not easy. It helps when you have understanding bosses though. Bosses who are supportive and help you when you have problems at work too. I suppose it is all bout PR. Why do some bosses treat other workers differently? It all boils down to whom they ‘like’ more. How to be more likeable? That I will talk about in another thread…do remind me.

To survive, one has to be street smart. I am not talking bout being late for work and leaving early, or cheating on expenses etc.It is how your job scope differs from another. A boss and a worker may do the same work, but it is essentially different. End of the day, as a worker you gotta take care of yourself, cuz if you fall sick no one is going to sympathise or take care of you. As a boss it is a different ball game. You literally created your own contract and signed it throughout the duration your business is running. It is not easy running a business at all, and that I have learnt from others. Especially where profit margins do not justify the amount of time and energy spent. Health is conpromised. Is the price worth it? You decide.

So what is the grreatest gift ever bestowed on mankind? In my humble opinion, it is the ability to cry. Has anyone thought of how much emotions go into a single tear? How many times have you felt depressed, sad, hurt, angry, etc, and you shed a tear or two and you feel so much better after that. I am sure many can relate to that. Remember my favourite show I spoke about? My date with a vampire. In the show, a vampire slayer (Ma Xiao Ling) has been ‘cursed’ by her ancestors, that the descendents are not permitted to cry. Many a times she wanted to but had to hold back. It is very very hard..

Do not fear tears. Embrace the ability to express your emotions. Male or female. It is not ‘sissy’ for a guy to cry. There is a certain stereotype going on and some guys end up having to cry privately. Whichever way, let it flow…as toni braxton sings.

Appreciate that gift to be able to cry, at least to me this is the best gift God can give in this harsh world.

And yes. My Date With A Vampire is the only thing on TV that has been able to make me shed a tear or two, for I can so relate to the characters in the show. It depicts what is meant by “All the love in the world does not imply two people can be together.” Yes, they love each other to bits, but destiny is cruel.

Everyone has to work to survive. Well okay maybe a few lucky souls don’t have to, either cause they have enough family fortune to last 10 lifetimes, or they just don’t have to when money is not an issue to them. We work like robots. So little time to experience life has to offer. Or is life all about work?

The world has been evolving. While NS should be getting easier for the recruits to be, I can say for certain the world of working individuals has changed drastically over the years, especially with the emergence of IT. These days if you don’t read or reply your email, you will be reprimanded. Now you can also be contactable on the plane even via your mobile. Privacy? It is privacy no more. As I said, 24/7 you can be contacted and people expect that. There must be some trade off. But where? Has the salaries inflated? Where is the trade off? If there isn’t, then we may just be puppets. A chest piece, being played and controlled by another force.

Are fate and destiny in our hands? Not all of it. Whatever we have, we need to make the best out of what we can control and decide over. Don’t let someone else decide that for you. Even if you are a chest piece, would you rather be a pawn, or a queen? Some are happier as a pawn, don’t need to move around as much yet has power over other chest pieces.. But so do other pieces. A queen is powerful, but will always be targetted by an opponent. It is natural that we take out the most powerful piece first.

So do you want to be a pawn, or a queen?