Life For Rent

I think it is seriously time for some good make over pictures. So many recommendations but in the end they tell me it sucks. *L* Anyone has got a reliable and trustworthy recommendations for some good shots?

An afternoon of gloom so to speak. A pro wrestler from WWE, Eddie Guerrero passed away suddenly in his hotel room some nights ago. Reason unknown yet, but it is heartenning to see the entire WWE mourn over the loss of a superstar. All of them are great entertainers, with Eddie included in the squad no less. The last time a sudden death like this happened was probably quite a few years back when Owen Hart fell from a height on an entrance that went wrong. He fell many stories head first onto the concrete in front of thousands of fans.

Why do I enjoy wrestling? These people are atheletes, entertainers and actors comparable if not better than those from hollywood, all rolled into one. I admire their charisma, their talent, their heart work and more importantly, something I think I can’t do, and that is to spend more than 300 out of 365 days a year away from their home town and family. These atheletes are highly respected by me and while some have taken time off to catch up with their lives, others continue to entertain, year after year, decade after decade.

Moving along now, I went to visit my late Aunt Hellen earlier at her final resting place. It has been more than 2 years but I can say, though it is the first time I have visited her to wish her a happy belated birthday, you could somehow feel the presence. I thanked her for giving all her nephews including me an education grant, something that till today, every lesson I attend and every exam I take, I have her in mind. It is also one of the reasons why I get VERY upset if I cannot attend my lessons due to work and stuff. In the past I couldn’t care less, and simply go over what I missed last lesson and all. It is different this time round.

It also makes me wonder, how would it be like when one day I cease to exist any longer. Who will visit me? If I die before all my friends then perhaps, they will come once or twice. My siblings may come too. Who else? I don’t know. I don’t know if he would come..

I am a fighter, but only when there is a reason to fight for. My late aunt Hellen won the first round of cancer, but was eventually defeated by it. I kinda blame SARs and TTSH for it, cause of delayed treatment and all but I suppose it is not entirely their fault too. God’s will. Like my dog, who left us suddenly, it depicts how fragile life is. And how one ought to enjoy everyday that we breathe. Why work so hard? Why think of working so hard and then enjoy later, when perhaps one may not even be able to reach that stage of enjoyment. Why love a love that hurts? And why hurt a love that loves? Why does it happen? I haven’t thought of a good explanation yet. Perhaps when I have some idea I will share it with everyone.

For now, love, is not all. Love is strong, but it is not invincible. It has defeated many people, yet have been defeated by others. Love cannot overcome all obstacles, but it is sweet while it lasts. The reality is, sometimes indeed love is just not enough. As I said, it is not invincible. It can perform miracles, but it cannot win each time. Life is fair. Love failed to keep me and someone together. But hopefully, it will for someone else.

But there are two kinds of love, that apparently survive through everything. The love between family members, and between best friends. Both I have experienced, and tested. Everything else…is humbug. I can depend on the above two and myself only. No more, no less. End of the day, my life belongs to me. No one else shall dictate it, nor run it for me.

I luv ya Aunt Hellen, hope you have rest in peace, and have gone to a place free of pain and torture this world brings. I do hope, someday, I shall meet you halfway.

I have begun the cycle of the annual Christmas tunes. Something that is very close to my heart and just about the only tradition I follow myself. And that is to spend the season with someone I love.

This year it appears not to be so, so instead I shall share the season with everyone here on sillypore.com.

Christmas is always a very emotional period for me. Don’t know why, but I suppose everyone has a special season in the year that means a lot, and I chose Christmas for a very long time now. Few understand how important it is to me. Not even my rach sis probably, not yet anyways. Only one or two would, but it don’t matter anymore. It is something that is close to my heart. Very close. Contrary, my least prefered is chinese new year..hah…

Sing along folks. Put all the worries, fears, anger, sadness and frustration and aside, and let the carols sooth the savage beasts..

Folks, pls comment. Should I or should I not load an mp3 into this page?

Question : How does one know that he or she is nuts?

Ans : When one logs into his or her friendster account and listens to the music in one’s profile. Music that is set to loop.

Okay okay fine, I am the one who’s nuts.

Why? Not satisfied?

OMG OMG OMG.

Impulse day again. But impulse never results in regrets for me yar. Normally what impulse means these days is, that everything I have wanted to do or get for eons but decided to hold back, I get them like at that very moment I think bout it.

Like my new fone..

Like…my new ear piercing!

Woo hoo. I read some stuff and decided to try NEEDLE piercing. By hand. I read reports critisizing bout the use of the hand gun for piercing. And hence decided to check out Body Decor at the Heeren. I was told it would cost ‘a few more dollars’ but guess what, the piercing including my new titanium stud, cost a total of more than 60 bucks.

But I was more interested in the exprience and I had Karen who tagged along to watch. She nearly turned white (or was it green?) after the whole procedure! *L*

Here is how it went:

1.Asked hp (the piercer) if I should go for a ring or a stud. I have had 4 piercings done before, all of which were done by the stud gun. The rings they have are very difficult to handle, as they use tension instead of a clip to secure it in. Even they admit, it is not easy for them to take out the ring once in.

2. Decided to use a titanium stud. Interchangeble both sides, and you can buy add ons. Really cool.

3. Paid up (more on that later) and signed a declaration form, that is said to be required of any form of needle piercing. Usual questionaire of basic health conditions.

4. Walked around for 5 mins, while they worked on sterelizaton (of the stud I believe, since the needle is a one time use)

5. Went into the room with Karen, and hp did a marking to see if I am happy with the positon. I was, and so we were set for the procedure.

6. I couldn’t see what hp was doing, so the actual procedure was explained by Karen..She said hp held the needle by hand right where the dot is, and when all was ready, she simply pushed it in with one solid movement. The stud was placed at the other end, and the needle was pulled through, and in the processes the stud went into the ear too. hp then screwed on the front and back attachments for the stuf, and she wiped off the lil bit of blood that she said probably occured when she pinched the ear to screw the back attachment in. Normally it will not bleed, hp said.

7. And it was all done! I was very happy with how it looked and all. Definitely two thumbs up. Body decor also does tongue/navel piercing as well as tatoos.

Here’s how the cost goes though. Piercing, over 30. Stud (titanium) over 20. Total, over 60. Steep yes I agree, but the experience was priceless. Service was patient and excellent. hp, as she is known, explains everything patiently and is rather gentle though firm in her piercing. I kinda respect that though, you know, I don’t think I can hold a needle so well and pierce it in one solid movement. It is not like giving an injection at all. So yeh, gutsy. And cool.

Now all of you must be wondering how it felt. Pain wise. I have had 4 piercings by the gun as mentioned. They do not hurt as the stud goes through for I think it goes in so quickly the brain hasn’t received the pain signal yet. Some 3 seconds later, and it comes. The stud the guns use are not sharp so they do cause a lot of trauma to the wound. The wound was biting for bout 5 mins, enough to make me pinch my own fingers to divert the pain, especially for the 3rd and 4th piercing. The alcohol drip made it far worse.

The pain on this needle piercing was no worse. It didn’t bite as much, though the pain is felt immediately on the piercing. The human hand can’t be as quick as a gun yar? But overall its great, really. Over in a jiffy. No alcoholic drops as it is believed to cause damage to the cells, impeding healing and causing tissue scarring. That’s contrary to what those piercing done by the stud gun, but that is because the gun is VERY dirty as it can’t be cleaned. The stud is NOT sterelised so if they didn’t do some disinfecting, the wound will be infected for sure. So better to do some form of disinfection and result in a lil scarring, than a total infection yar.

So, the choice is in the person. The gun, or the needle.

I am VERY happy with mine. Too steep I feel, but it is my ear, and I guess I am a convert now. The skill of the piercer is important. People who use the guns are rarely trained, and it results in the kind of position errors and scarring like it does with my other 4 holes.

We shall see how this one goes! I will review the stud in 2 weeks time.

It is a monday nonetheless..what a drag…WORK Week coming up and a terrible one too. Thank goodness for my new stud, to distract me from the nonsensical crap I will be facing..

Oopps..my friend wilson just said one of the wrestlers just passed away. Gonna check it out. Talk to you fellas soon! Keep smiling yo!

Thank you rach sista. It was such a nice comment she left at the last shout out that I decided to chat with her on msn bout it rather than post a reply. I didn’t quite know what to say, cuz it was really heartening.

Speaking of which, I spent the entire day at work with my bosses at a customer’s place doing a lotus notes data migration. There were glitches and for something of this magnitude its equivilent to an organ transplant. Those in IT and did migration, they know how big a nightmare it can be. But I am glad it all ended well and in time for dinner with my mom and bro and all. Chatted quite a bit with my bro, something which I haven’t done for eons. Or more like, since never? But he is my bro after all and I love him just as much as I should, and certainly don’t want him to end up like one of my cousins,who’s live was lost at the ends of a ‘madman’. Yes he lost his life.

Dinner was at Plaza Market Cafe. I felt the standard of food wasn’t as good as before. The sashimi was horrendous. But one thing bout the whole place which never fails to make it all up is its service. Very good service, the sort I like it to be. Friendly, attentive, always with a smile and obliging in a ‘fun’ way. I don’t like to be around a place where it is so high class and professional where every line ends with a ‘sir’. You get the drift. F&B outlets ought to learn from them.

Maybe the food tasted a lil more blend due to some personal sappy stuff. The last time I was there was with my parents and my ex. It felt kinda weird without my dear around. It is so different, but I spent time chatting with my bro to take my mind off things. And I dropped by the OSIM outlet there (they are my customers too) and to check on their stuff. Very nice people they are, and I actually left my ipod shuffle there! Gawd what is wrong with me?! They good people at OSIM Raffles City called me and told me bout it and I thank them a whole lot for it. You see? People pay it forward too and like I said, they are very nice people indeed. OSIM’s my fav customer, that’s for sure. Anyone wants anything from them? I think I can get 30% off, but shhhhh..don’t tell the whole world yeah?

I am scouting for a new desktop. About time I retire this set. It has been with me for a very long time and has served me well. It is a good machine. I have been lookng at dell comps online. They have good buys I must say.

Time to wind down a lil for the weekend. I shall catch u all soon!

Keep smiling, and you will realise the world isn’t that bad.

It is a FRIDAY!

It also means tomorrow I have to go to work. A full day as well. Lotus notes migration. Arrgh. Another one on Monday but it will be a file server migration. *sigh* But I will learn some stuff for notes’ migration. Never done one before. Upgrade and migrate. Woo hoo.

And did I remember my mon say we are going to some oyster buffet tomorrow for dinner? I sure hope it happens! If it does I will write a review here. heh heh.

Yes rachy sis. I was inspired with your lil blog, though I said it sorta hung my page but the mp3 ran and I love that song too but I haven’t heard it in a while and it brought back quite a bit of interest. Like I also said, you inspire me. And it is a huge compliment when it comes from me. Cuz the only other person who has ever inspired me (though till today I haven’t told him) is my dad.

My dad stands on a platform so high no one can ever reach. So for rach to stand side by side with him, it is SOMETHING.

For those asking me for my friendster, it is at ditchdog@sillypore.com. It would be nice to drop a note to tell me who you are and stuff cuz normally I only add friends and reject the rest who add ‘for fun’.

And friends of course, being people I would know or recognise. Something like that.

Gregorian is playing on my frenster profile. Next month it will be some xmas tunes..and I have been listening to Marion Raven’s End Of Me. Prolly feature it on frenster sometime in Jan. If my interest hasn’t already died in that song.

I am gonna try and take it easy for whatever’s left on a Friday. You folks should too. If you gotta work/study/do some stupid stuff, well just know that I’m with ya on this one. Let’s go through it together!

I’m peeved. From work. Hate it when handing over and documentation is not written properly. A 10 min task can take 6h or more because of it. Very frustration on my part and on my customer’s too. Am I inefficient? Am I too blame? We know one thing that the customer doesn’t.

The way I am, going through all that just won’t do. I strive for excellence and without proper tools I can’t do my job to my customer’s expectations, much less mine. Sometimes I wonder why do I have to handle so much crap with the kind of $$ I get. But that is how work is like sometimes isn’t it. Not to worry. What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger, that’s what I tell myself.

Listening to Gregorian’s Once In A Lifetime which I uploaded onto my friendster. Strange that I gotta listen to my songs from friendster yeh I know.

How queer. But that’s the word. Queer. How queer things are. In so many aspects.

If you could pick, what is the one thing you wanna exeperience once in a lifetime? There is more to life than just one solitude event, but if you had to choose? What would it be?

For me, it would be to see world peace. hah hah okay okay don’t laugh. Let’s see. Once in a lifetime, on a more personal note. Gee. Tough question. How bout sharing my life with someone worthy? How cliche sounding it is. hmm.. Screw it. Probably, to find my way back to Christ the way I really want one day. No it is not bout attending church and preaching, both of which have been overly abused by many as a sign of ‘wellness’

Did I mention a particular Eugene sometime? I reckon I did. At some point. Eugene my lil friend, has seen the light. If I could choose, I wanna see the light too one day. And be enlightened. It will eventually lead to a stage where everything in life complements one another, rather than one being on top of another. Simply put, it is like having a thousand wishes all in one. With that one thing,and one choice, you could have everything else, all complimentary. Wow! All for free too! Now what can sound better than that?

I was at Ngee Ann city on Monday to fix up something for one of my big clients and they were playing Christmas songs in the background already. Pretty neat. It was late morning, the crowds were visibly absent, and the atmosphere was so Christmasy. When was the last time I heard the term ‘christmasy’? Not too long ago. It was used by someone I loved (and still love) dearly.

I don’t know how Xmas will be like this year. It will take some getting used to, and maybe I shall just immerse myself with work and stuff. In a bid to run away from it? Whatever. I will do whatever it takes, as long as it works.

‘Our’ little phone is getting sick. Its genetic hardware problems are surfacing. I was just chatting with Jillian bout the phone thing and what I ought to do. Seems like there wasn’t any good solutions. In fact there isn’t any. If I repair it, the contents will be gone. Then I might as well get a new identical one. If it is still sold in the stores which I very much doubt.

Or let it die a natural death and retire it. Like how things are. Who is the real rightful owner? It doesn’t belong to me singlehandedly. It belonged to us. Few objects ever made it so close to my heart. It is the one and only phone I still faithfully keep in a pouch to protect it. Even the other phone doesn’t deserve that sort of treatment.

*sigh* A true object of desire.

I have what I plan to do in my head. Now it is just a matter of if I wanna do it that’s all.

All I want to say is, I still love you very much. I miss you a whole lot. As tough as it is just staying together, it is even tougher trying to put everything behind. I was willing to die for you (if you remember two incidents that I brought up) and it hasn’t changed. I don’t think anything or anyone can replace you.

But the fact remains, I must move on. I just don’t know how. I think I know of a few ways, but I stubbornly just refuse to do so.

I wonder how me, the best man cum 1st Jan for my BMT buddy will be like. A moment of unionship for one, and it could have been a renewal of my own. But it is not to be. Perhaps if it didn’t go this way, my buddy may not have been able to get married then. Old don’t go, new don’t come..as they say.

I miss you. For all that is worth..