
I was reading this article from a forum and I thought it was a good read. In the past, I have always felt, Michael (from Queer as folk) is just about the only gay boy in the whole world who has a mother that is actually proud that her son is gay. Maybe she didn’t begin that way but overtime you’ll see her working in the pub of hers with rainbow tags all over her apron and has been the dream mom every gay boy wished they had.
Today, in China, we see such another mom and I thought it was nice to know that such people actually exists. I guess a lot of us hope for the bare minimum. They know, but don’t talk bout it. I guess that is fine for me too. I read some comments from readers and it seems that for everyone that came out, there is another that didn’t. Some were never close with their parents anyway and they went to their graves without ever finding out. Others came out as adults. Faced an initial wrath from the father. His comments went along the line of “Tornangel, people, even (especially?) parents say all sorts of things they don’t really mean or know what they are talking about. But they are as human as us all and their perspectives are bound to change given new information of all sorts. I know that my own father at first demanded I see a psychiatrist. Now he hugs and kisses the forehead of my husband every time they meet. Go figure. ” While another wrote “Doubt I’d have that luxury. My mum said that being a prostitute is better than being a lesbian.”
Seems like there is no one true solution for everyone. Play by ear.
There are quite a few support groups here in SGP for and by parents of gay children. I think that’s a really nice thing to have around.
Here are quotes from ‘Auntie Wu’:
Wu, a writer and editor by profession and a self-confessed liberal, said she found it easy to deal with her son’s sexuality because by the time, “Yuantao came out to me… I had read a lot of gay-themed books and movies (by his recommendation). Besides he had also been a good boy in school and in the family; he never made us worried.”
And therein lies the key, she says. If you want to come out to your parents do some groundwork first and feed your parents information on what being gay is all about before coming out to them. “Always make sure your parents have some understanding and acceptance of homosexuality before coming out to them,” she advises.
“Coming out to younger, trustworthy members of the family first might also help.” It also helps if you work hard in school and, in all ways, are an exemplary son or daughter.
“Just make sure you’re well behaved [and a good student],” she says. This “can hopefully give you more credit when you try to convince your parents that you are gay and it’s fine.” But, Wu adds, not all gay children should feel they have to tell their family their sexuality. “If the parent-child relationship hasn’t been close then I don’t think they should tell.”
Wu also encourages parents to do their homework on what being gay is all about.
“They should seek to find out what science says about homosexuality,” she says.
“Science can rid them of this unreasonable fear. I feel comfortable that my son is gay because I know being gay is not a crime… or a disgrace.” At the end of the day your child’s happiness is more important than carrying on the family name, she says.
Another male parent wrote: “I am really glad seeing them together, because Mu is so happy when he’s with him (his son’s boyfriend). Now it feels like I have two sons. And I do hope the law will allow them to get married one day.”
Now aint that sweet?
You know, the way I think, you don’t really need the damn LAW to approve. One of the reasons why I can never be a lawyer is because I don’t give a DAMN about the LAW. The law written by other people is of no relevance to me. I have my own laws and as long as those around are in sync of it, who cares? If a gay couple wants to have a wedding, what’s stopping them? So what if the law doesn’t recognise. To put it bluntly, the law and government recognises a lot of issues we have. The poor. Rising inflation but not salary. What are they gonna do bout it? What can they do about it? Absolutely not as much as you hope. The LAW does not solve problems. It CANNOT solve problems. It is a control. And I am not someone to be controlled. So to heck with it. If I want a damn wedding I will have my wedding with all my friends invited. I have been to gay weddings (although it was absolutely unimpressive to me because the grooms behaved like VIPs while their friends was the one who did all the prep and had to ‘surprise’ the grooms, making me wonder who is the one getting married..) and like I said, so what if we can’t get HDB priorities. I will get my own damn private apartment if I have to. Scrimp and save initially but it will pay off eventually. I will still pay my taxes dutifully but I don’t expect the government to owe me anything. I don’t owe them anything either.
And to hell with the law. Let me just say. Crudely as it sounds. It is my prick. Mine and only mine. I will choose where I want to stuff it into and it is none of anyone else’s business what I do with it.