Depression in the air
Oct 31, 2008 in My Shout Outs
Too much negativity in the air. I am soaking in all of it like a sponge. But i did get a bid from going to the movies and watching Saw 4. Good distraction. I think Saw followers will have to watch this to continue the story. To be frank, I think this could be one of the most (if not the most) successful series ever. At least in my books.
There’s a lot of gloom around me. Things at work aren’t going too well. I know my bosses are trying to hide away from us all. I have recruiters who dropped me a note on a very popular job networking site (similar to friendster) so we’ll explore new possibilities. I never thought I may consider moving out but after re-looking at the whole thing and my term with my company, I can finally see the cracks. Moving forward, if I were to switch jobs, I guess I sorta know what I’d like to do.
Things at home are worse. Sometimes I wonder to myself, which is worse. I used to think it wasn’t so bad at work. I could just resign if I wanted to yeh. ie, I would be in control. I relooked at both scenarios and realise, if i REALLY wanted to, both are within my control. As things always have been. My character does not allow things to get out of hand where I end up being at the mercy or someone, or something else. I also realise the way I analyze things are very different from others. During lunch with my remisier today, we chatted bout why I felt I was different from the others. Marketing pushes all the plus points about a product. You do not talk bout the negatives, if at all. In light with the mini bonds and all, the RMs claim that was how products were pushed and marketed to them in the first place. And my remisier said, as a trainer, he finds that people do not like to hear what doesn’t work for a product. They will lose faith. And interest.
On the other hand, I must hear the bad points. I do not believe in free lunches, nor a perfect product. You market me something so perfectly, chances are even if it is so, I will not buy it. I need to be shown the downside as well. My remisier said I am one of a kind actually. I am not convinced, till I am convinced of the bad points of the product. Does that make sense?
Maybe it has a lot to do with my background in security and risk management. I am trained to think like a crimminal almost. Think contrarian and do the opposite of what people would normally do. I have a deep interest in studying human behavior but till date I have not been able to look at this formally.
But i am still human after all. And I soak in emotions from around me very well. Too well for my own good. I see people pawning their gold ring for $25 at the pawn shop. Why? Cause they need money to top up their EZ link card. This is happening even sooner than I thought. I expected the economic worries to flow from wall street to main street in around 6 months. It hasn’t even been 6 weeks. The speed of things have been unbelievable. As unbelievable it is, the mentality I carry is, to ‘expect the unexpected’. Sounds cheesey isn’t it? It is VERY difficult to achieve. How do you expect something when you do not have any knowledge of? Yet I must, and when it does happen, I will have to receive it, analyse it, and then execute an action in split seconds. But I am stubborn. Regardless of a recession or a depression, I will not allow myself to be checked mate.
My ex has a 10 month old golden retriever. She had it from someone else who sorta abandoned it. She asked if I wanted it. Of course I do. Even though my mood is gloomy, but a dog seems like a good idea. But seeing the situation at home, I decided that it is not in the best interest for everyone, including the dog for me to adopt it now. I can only pray it will find a new master who will dote on it for a lifetime.
Coming back from Bintan, I have this sudden impulse to redo my room. A new bed. New this and new that. Sounds great. But that too may have to be shelved. But hey, I look at it from the brighter side. I shelve it for now, so that if I wanna move out, I can do so. In an instant literally. I think ultimately that is what I want. Okay so I hate to iron clothes. But i do clean and wash as necessary you know. The same shirts. Hey I can freeball so no need to wash underwear, and I go around in slippers so no socks needed haha.. Maybe i will not wanna head out to work anymore and instead stay at home and be a full time trader so what I REALLY will need is nice PJs right. And an excellent comp and broadband.
Sounds dreamy? Maybe. But at least if plan A fails I got plan B. And plan C. And D.
Don’t you guys have one too?
