Life For Rent

Extracted from the good people from ST-

Viral application enables perpetrator to access personal data  

FACEBOOK users in Singapore are facing a threat from an application that may steal their personal information.
The viral application issues a prompt to users of the popular social networking site to say that other users are having problems viewing their profile.

Facebook notifications will tell users that their friend ‘has faced some errors when checking your profile’.

It asks them to activate an ‘Error Check System’ application to ‘correct’ these errors. If they click on it, the application will send messages to their friends, to try and get them to accept the application as well.

The cyber trap has the potential to affect the 495,000 or so unique visitors from Singapore to the Facebook site monthly. Security firms and Facebook have stepped up measures to warn users that the so-called errors do not exist.

A statement from UK-based security firm Sophos, which tracks vulnerabilities on the Internet, said: ‘The warning messages were, in fact, a viral attempt by a third party to recruit more users and – potentially – steal personal information for financial gain.’

Installing the application allows the person behind it access to one’s profile, including e-mail address, phone number, occupation details and even names of family members derived from photographs posted. Banks commonly ask for such information when a customer is opening an account or applying for a credit card, for instance.

Worse still, users who use the Google search engine to try and find out more about the application may be hit by a double viral dose.

Sophos’ senior technology consultant Graham Cluley found that the top search result was a website directing users to another site. The site starts a fake anti-virus scan that downloads a virus into the computer instead.

Mr Cluley said: ‘Is it possible that the original Facebook application was actually a red herring, and the real dangerous payload came from people Googling for information?’

Mr Josh Lim, 25, who runs his own blog, spotted the unusual messages over the weekend, and quickly sent an alert to friends and posted a warning on his blog.

‘When I first checked the application, two of my friends had been affected. Within an hour, it had grown to 10 to 12 people,’ he said.

His blog has received thousands of hits every day since then, from people looking for more information about the bug.

Another 10,000 worried users have formed or joined groups over the past few days to discuss the cyber trap.

A Facebook spokesman in the United States said the company has disabled ’several versions’ of the application, and was working ‘aggressively’ to make sure they stayed off its website.

Facebook had also informed Google about the dangerous website listed in its search results, and it could no longer be found among the top 50 hits following checks by The Straits Times on Wednesday afternoon.

FAST-SPREADING
‘When I first checked the application, two of my friends had been affected. Within an hour, it had grown to 10 to 12 people.’

Blogger Josh Lim

What you will see

Facebook notifications will tell users that their friend ‘has faced some errors when checking your profile’.

If they click on the link to ‘View The Errors Message’, a prompt will ask them to ‘activate’ the application to correct the errors. This move allows their information to be accessed .

How to remove the application:

Click on ‘Edit’ in the Applications pane.

Click on the ‘x’ beside the ‘Error Check System’ application.

A window will pop up asking the user to confirm the removal.

I think Dr Jackson has sorta summarised it in an easy to understand format. The topic was largely on the stress the average office-goer has from emails. Day in day out, non stop emails. Even when you are on the move, as long as you have the blackberry you have access to the mails. These days even on board a flight you can access emails! With convenience, the price to pay is round the clock dedication. The excuse of ‘oh i was on a flight so I didn’t open my email yet’ will soon be outdated.

I do get quite annoyed with a train of conversations where I am cc a copy. Why don’t people just pick up the phone? Hmm, from my observation, the reason for that is sometimes, it allows you to attend to not so important issues at leisure. Also, it allows you think what you wanna ask or comment on. Sometimes you are not ready and it is near impossible to get everyone on a call conference at the same time (this is very true) so email is what they do.

For a lengthy email chain getting out of hand, what I usually do is to intercept and call for a pre-arranged meeting in person or through a call conference. So if it is set for later in the day, then I would expect most people to be able to run through the contents before the meeting so they’ll know what to ask and what they need to answer. Things get done fast. Problem? No formal record of what was said.

So someone has to pen out an email, and go ‘As spoken, here are the things we agreed to do. Point 1.. point 2 etc’. Send it to all and if there are no violent objections then it is now in black and white. The email would take maybe 50k in size and it is just one email, vs a chain of 20 emails an hour that gets longer and bigger in size with each email!

In a gist, here’s some tips discussed-

Invest in a spam filter . You shouldn’t open a spam e-mail, because as soon as you open the e-mail up, it notifies the organisation that has sent that, saying this is a valid e-mail address. They know how long you’ve looked at it, when you looked at it and did you go back to it.
Target your e-mail. One of most annoying things about e-mail is the sheer number of messages we receive that aren’t addressed primarily to us. Does everyone in the cc box really need to be copied in on your words of wisdom? Basically, a cc is there for information purposes only, and you should only use it for that purpose.
Write more carefully. The reason to write carefully is crystal clear. It just vastly increases the chance that whatever it is you want to get done will get done. If you don’t write carefully, there’s room for misunderstanding.
Reduce interruptions. I think it does start to stress people out. Simply by changing the way they have their e-mail application set up, they can start to reduce some of that stress.
Get training. E-mail seems like common sense. Anyone can write an e-mail. But the issues we’re having are that many people are struggling with e-mail communication – and training can really help with that.

I have to say, an hour before this post I got quite irritated by different people online. For some reason many of them irked me. But I’ve always found solace in the one or two who are close to me.

I have been also a lil irked that one individual has been ignoring me for the past 2 days. Fact that I got unnerved shows there’s something going isn’t it.

But it all ended pretty well!

Ok so lets go back then to the 4 choices. A recap -

- Bunny

- Big Sweet Potato (BSP)

- Tigger

- Smiley

So out of the 4, 2 are incorrect options. 1 of them is specal to me, 1 of them I seem to have an interest in. I chatted with one of them today.  It would be the former scenario. So he said, I didn’t contact him since I got back and to cut the long story short, he moved on and is with someone now.

That’s alright to me for the record but here’s where the title of the post came in. I called him a serial monogamist. To be frank, it is an incorrect term. What I wanted to refer to is someone who cannot stay single. The person has to hop from one person to the next. What do you call this, I have no idea actually. But I know people who are like that. The princess rach said wow, how easy it was for the person to hop onto another. But was the person looking for a reaction from me? Namely, to dump one for me. Historically, I have had at least 2 exes who dumped people they were dating for me. I didn’t ask them to and to be fair, I didn’t know they had a love interest till much later in the relationship when they said something about it. Here, is this what this person is intending to do? I don’t know, nor did I bother to find out. What made me hold back? The differences in perception and how we see things. Truth be hold, we perhaps may have the same goal but have completely different ways of getting there. It is an issue. There is someone else, whom I don’t really have chemistry with. The person must have taken all 100% of it with him! The reality is, if and only if, I can swap the persons physically. Physical attraction is also important is it not? But the argument is, if I did a swap then won’t it come to square one, as in they are both gonna be different from what they are. True! Swapping isn’t a good option even if it is possible. It just means, neither are right for me.

On the morning show, there was this thought there one said there is no such thing as THE one. You find a person u can get along with and he or she is The One isn’t it? Partly true I think. My take is, if you can find someone whom’s right for you, then the person is indeed The One. Easier said than done.

I digress. So I sorta said why I didn’t contact when I got back and all. And I wished him well.

When we hung out once upon a time, he did say he didn’t have any expectations of me and where this is going. Like one another, hang out and have fun. Obviously, princess rach said it right when she said it is just the mouth speaking, not the heart. U see, she knows how they think and all too. Not to say I don’t. After all I have been skeptic when it comes to words. She still tickles me when she tells me how she noticed ‘that’ look people have when I am around. I won’t go into the egoistic details but I’ll go as far as say I’m flattered that there are people who have ‘that’ look on me but I am neither a serial monogamist, nor hop from one person to the next, nor likes to take full advantage of singlehood. Singlehood isn’t bout exploring all the forbidden fruit, but rather to be by myself and to love that feeling that I miss. I told the dude from above, doesn’t he think it is too early for me to be in a relationship and he agrees. If there’s one person who knows how it feels it is him. And no I am not about ready to toy with anyone. Matter of fact is I always have this fear of taming people. Rach thinks somehow unconsciously I will still have that effect on people, yet it is not something that I want. Then again I think, if I can somewhat be tamed in some ways willingly, why not others? Bad experiences maybe. There was at least one who was tamed, willingly, but found he had lost himself and things are so not him. I wouldn’t like this to happen again as far as possible for the 2 of us.

Someone else also said since last year when I began trading I have changed. I totally agree and I think through those times I have been talking about, penning my posts down, charting my change literally.  For better or worse, not only I see quite a difference within a year, but within the past couple months there has been a lot of differences too. I look at things differently, and now in my new role at work, I will look at things differently yet again and build on whatever I have learnt in the past. To grow steadily in these very trying times.

So I wish this dude well, that he’ll find happiness regardless if I am a part of it or not. This goes for all the people I’ve loved before. Gosh now I feel like singing. So here’s my rendition of Willie Nelson’s To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before.

My own lyrics this time round! -

To All the guys I’ve loved before

Who traveled in and out my door

I dedicate this song,

To all the guys I’ve loved before.

hahha! That was fun!

So which guys are which? That, coming up soon!

Moving on, here’s an excerpt from my MSN -

He got lucky. There were earlier messages but I didn’t close the windows properly prior to restarting MSN so it didn’t get logged but the gist of it was, once upon a time there was an agreement. People who break agreements are blacklisted. And in this arena, when you are blacklisted there are consequences. Somewhat like a breach of contract in legal terms. So it is somewhat similar. The thing bout blacklisting is, not the actual act or details itself, but it reflects on what kind of person an individual is and the reputation he or she so deserves thereafter. The first step comes in blogs, as you seen above. So that’s like stage one. There are many stages beyond that and it really depends on how far the person deserves to go. A mitigation plea, or the full extent of the ‘law’!

Okay enough with the boring bits. Let’s get straight down to business. Shout out a yay or nay via the comment box if you want ‘the works’. All posts will be screened privately. I will take in comments and all that you folks have to say and then I’ll do what the majority asks for. They are screen for your privacy, something which perhaps, blacklisted people don’t know anything about. Let me state for the record that the above person has said he should be blacklisted. Wasn’t my call. So since I have explicit permission, let’s roll!

By the way if you got something to add to my earlier stuff, do a separate post for it so that I can approve those.

Looks like loads of stuff in store, all coming up!

Hello good morning all!

One of the more interesting songs thrown out on the morning xpress is Lady GaGa’s Pokerface (the electronic version). I quite like this track and cannot wait for more tracks from Lady GaGa especially after Just Dance and Pokerface. If I am one of those uninitiated fellas and there is indeed a new song, pls let me know!

Club Med… hmm. It comes at a hefty price tag but unless you go for some premium stuff there, everything else is already in the price. It is free for all! ie, whatever they have, whatever you want, it’s there for you to take. Literally. From food and drinks to activities (save for the more ‘atas’ ones). I did go to Club Med Cherating many many years ago when I was still a kid. Did not like the place much but I reckon things have changed a lot since. Club Med Bintan, Club Med Bali, anyone? Naturally, budget needs to be saved for it and it will take months.

My personal take is, cut down on all the little short turn around trips and save for one that you really wanna go. i don’t really see any point in BKK or Malaysia every couple months and stuff. That’s not my kinda thing anyway.

Moving along, I am gonna do my prep talk soon with my team but for now I wanna say thank you Ceddy for the very nice gifts from Taiwan. The mobile phone chain, the snacks and all! So evil! Trying to make me fat! *munch  munch* How could you do this to your poor friend *munch munch* and you still dare say you don’t want me to look better than you that’s why *munch munch*

EVIL! But I like! And I think it is not too bad at all.  Thank u! *throws some munchies @ u before munching the rest down*

MUNCH MUNCH!

Confirmation of bad news at work. No I did not get retrenched. Nor did any of my team mates. But it is quite unpleasant news, and I’ll keep it as that. Life goes on! Work must be done still.

But I’ve just thought of something to ‘compensate’ things. I shall deliver it out to them tomorrow. I feel it is an entitlement, although it is not a  right.  I will sound it to the folks tomorrow. Hope morale can be somewhat lifted. My powers are very limited. I don’t own the whole company u know LOL.. and all deliverables by the team have got my head on the line for it.

Not so good news over the weekend too. My TR, Jay, had an ex BMT mate who committed suicide. He seems ok now though although he blamed himself for it a lil bit. But as traders, we are more emotionally sound in the sense that we know we’re not god and there’s a lot of things that are beyond our control. All we hope is this guy is in a better place and is happier now. I don’t know him personally but he’s in my prayers.

Jayme and I had a discussion bout it and we shared a lil of our past on it. She feels it takes loads of guts to commit suicide. I partially agree, but what’s on my mind is people are too quick to judge. U call them cowards, u call them selfish cuz they don’t bother bout the feelings of those left behind.. etc.

I agree to some, but before people start judging, I think they need to be aware that no one likes to commit suicide. It is NOT a hobby. It is not like they went on a shopping spree or what. There are reasons why they are driven to do what they do, and the reason is something none of us will comprehend. So if you don’t comprehend, why are you judging?

In fact, if you judge, why not I say you are partially at fault for not spotting the suicide tendencies, and inadvertably caused the person’s death? Is it a logical blame? If you do not think it is, then stop judging the act itself.

I am not condoning the action. I am not saying if we got problems we should all just go and die. But the way some people put it, it is like they did a hideous act. The person is dead and GONE for goodnesss sake, the more you judge and say this say that, don’t you think you are bringing more grief to the families and friends of the deceased?

Before one judges, look at the mirror. You aint perfect. I aint perfect either. No one is. We all make mistakes. A mistake is a mistake. It could have been prevented. Something COULD have been done. The word here is ‘could’ cuz obviously it wasn’t done. Why wasn’t it then?

I’m just letting off steam here, cause I really get annoyed when people have a hell lot of stuff to say bout what others do.  You call them dumb, you call them stupid. What if, they came back somehow, and told you that YOU were the cause of it all.

I bet you’ll shut your mouth, forever.

Every depressed person is a ticking time bomb. I am not good in consoling people I admit, but if I spot someone in that state I will do something even if it is dragging the person on all 4s to the IMH’s emergency room. Suffice to say, if a person really wanted to die, there is not anyone in the world who can stop the person. The difference is, I tried. Although it didn’t work, but at least I’ll know the person has had some help and no one stood by and did nothing. A person’s life is in his own hands, isn’t it?

And so I was at my ex classmate’s (who were polytechnic sweetharts and got married late last year) house warming yesterday and me being me, am always looking out for a good spot somewhere. I had to take the NEL there cause apparently it is just next to it and looking at the map, wow, nothing but plain land on one side while all the flats are on the other. Pretty neat eh.

So here’s a picture from the study room. It is a 4 room HDB, valued at around 200k. Notice the condo units at the rear end with the blue netting and all. Apparently they were having show flats up for viewing on the same day and I hear, it runs for around 600-650k.  Stark difference eh!

So what’s the good and bad? The good is from the NEL all the way into the lift, it was very quiet! Even the lifts, pretty new, and I didn’t see anyone else around whatsoever. Couldn’t help feeling it was like a condo minus a pool. Notice the lil garden within the compounds as well. Food and necessities are nearby.  We’ll take a look at the empty plot of land next, cause I know what you all are thinking. Empty for now, but one find day it will just be like Toa Payoh, which I detest. I haven’t quite stepped into a HDB district like Buangkok that gave me a good feel of calm. Besides no one said I wanna sit around for the next 50 years to see it turn into Toa Payoh.

The bad? When you enter the kitchen, you’ll see how close you are to the neighbors opposite. It can be a good or bad thing. No privacy, but you can even pass salt to someone across you.  From the living room I’ll definitely need curtains or blinds cause you can stare into the living rooms of everyone really. And they can stare right into yours. Know what you are watching, and what you are doing with the naked eye. But nothing the curtains can’t keep out. The air con compressor is also accessible through the master room window only, which in my friend’s case since they built a wardrobe, u had to brush past the clothes to access through the small small window.

That’s the view from the master bed room. Empty plot of land. Apparently the MRT runs below, so it is not possible to build high rise buildings at all. A mosque is built in the far right but other than that, nothing else is planned. I’m thinking community centres (for now there is one pretty nearby and there isn’t enough around to set up much for now), libraries, maybe a low rise shopping centre. But I can’t see flats being built around where the MRT lines run for now.

So in general, a yay or nay? I very much like the peace and quiet, but in 3 years time when the flats can be sold on the resale market I suspect a lot would have changed. So let’s see how it goes but I pretty like the neighbourhood for now. I didn’t even see a single bus around but I am quite sure one runs past buangkok I think.  With it right smack next to the NEL, the overall peace and quiet even at the coffee shops which are flooded with people and u do really have limited choices which I am fine with, yay! I may not get places like that, but it gives me an idea of what I like, and what I do not like.

I believe me taking the bus down to little india and then changing to the NEL, got me there in under 45 mins. If I drove, I think it will take me 45 days. But the idea is fuss free movement! Good environment if you curtain the whole place and for the price, I think there is definitely more price appreciation in time to come.

It was nice catching up with old classmates and all. They opened up the black jack table and gambled a lil but I don’t gamble so I watched discovery.

Irene asked me if I will ‘convert’, ie, go back the straight path. LOL.. cuz she said I am too man to be ‘one’. Strange way of putting it.  Maybe she needs ‘more time’..  HAH!

I received an email with regards to the below post.  Let this serve as a record for all, especially myself.

Hi,

I don’t noe how you feel, but what had happen is already history. What is the use of going back and dig out all the history when it is not going to do you any good. Will you feel better after you know the truth? Can you do anything to change the fact once you know the history? What if the history that you dig out is going to destroy the image of that person? Will it do you any good?

Just let the history past, no use digging up and keep thinking about it. It will only cost you the things you have missed out. Look forward, there is much more opportunities in front of you. Whatever you decide to do, sincerely hope that you will be stay happy. Life is short, you never know what is going to happen to you the next moment, be appreciative and move on in life. Life is too short for regrets, stay positive and look forward to the future

Best Regards,

Well to answer the first para, first of all it wasn’t intentional. Perhaps I should have picked another person to dig things out but knowing so little about the person makes him the prime choice to do a little digging. Will I feel better after I know the truth? Actually yes. It isn’t bout destroying an image, but it provides answers to what went ‘wrong’.  Does it do me good? I think so. Closure. It reinforces one thing that bugged me. Could the outcome have been different on hindsight? Was I all that bad? Those were important, cause I believe people should learn and know what they did right and what they did wrong. Praise the stuff done right, and learn from the mistakes committed from doing something wrong. How does one improve if one doesn’t know what went wrong? It is fact finding rather than changing the past. If someone doesn’t wanna be truthful in the first place and comes round all the ‘you are always special’ lines, which although may be partially true, it is obvious there is someone else more special to fill the gap. That, was by his own admission. Put 2 and 2 together and a picture is formed.  I have no intention of tarnishing anyone. It is a pointless move. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. And through people’s opinions, the outsider can see what sort of person he is.

To me, the way to look forward is to be able to let go. To know one did try although it was futile. I fully agree live is short and I am appreciative of many things. The friends I have. The opportunities that come knocking. Even Furby.

There are no regrets whatsoever. The very fact that he chose to defend someone else, rather than something we shared, spoke a lot on its own despite everything he has said. I am somewhat someone who is easily swayed by words which I try hard to fight against cause it is meaningless when it doesn’t hold any water.  I have also learnt of major differences in how different people handle different scenarios. For me, whatever problems I face, whatever problems ‘we’ face as a couple, I try to solve it internally. That is not to say someone else has to do the same and in this case a wedge separating 2 people turned out to be a bridge joining another 2. I have learnt many things in the past year as I keep harping on, one of which is to manage my emotions and outbursts. That is not to say I can be indifferent to everything. When you share a relationship like that, you won’t understand the kind of betrayal one would feel.  I remember myself as someone who can never understand how someone can break up one day and be out with another the very next day. It does happen despite my lack of understanding and I can attribute it only to leaving a ship to join another bound for another destination.

Suffice to say, I have a rough plan for the next year ahead. Destiny has a strange way of showing direction while fate decides if one is meant to take that path. I don’t fight either. I learnt a lot from how others deal with similar situations. People like Glenn Ong. While the outcome is similar, the manner of how it occurred does make a difference to me. Was it a parting of ways due to differences, or was there someone else. I have never let anyone else come in between my relationship with someone no matter how good or bad it was. You could say I have been foccused yet blind to everyone else when I am with someone. I do however have to accept that people do need to find solace to close gaps within their lives. I have my own gaps, which I handle differently and never require people to fill any gap of mine.

If I have to agree on one thing, it would be that this was an inevitable. The person I am, seldom steps up to call a parting of ways. Perhaps I am a coward and fear the inevitable change. Or perhaps it isn’t a pre planned activity I have when I step into a relationship with someone. ie, I don’t walk away, unless I really have to. I knew I had to walk away from this one, but I didn’t fully understand why. I never did, till today.  The speed of things took a hit on me and only now do I realise those looks of his, was a look of hope that something will change that will pull him back from where he was headed to.

Let this be for the record that in time, one month, one year, ten years I may come back to talk about it again but there is closure finally. I felt hurt that I had to be kept in the dark bout such things and had to find out for myself (if  you remember, I particularly dislike being deceived, preferring to have things in the open than to go behind each other’s back. You, the writer, will know full well what I am referring to), and in the past it will hurt so bad I’ll cry. Today, there were no tears. Nowhere near. When I came back from my holiday in Phuket I have returned as a different person once again. I don’t think Rach who was with me all those times saw any progressive change really but it is amazing what crops up when one is away from stuff. From tattoos to Tigger and all. Ooops I just let the cat out of the bag. So Tigger is indeed a real person. But yes I came back focused and ready for brand new challenges at work.

One thing for sure, I can love again. An ex will always remain somewhat special. I cannot write off the love I shared but picture this scenario where something terrible happens. Who’s name will come up in the head? It will no longer be mine. When you know that for a fact, you will pull up your socks and move on. Everyone deserves a chance to be happy with someone new he loves.  I am glad he has that someone. I’ll state that even if he isn’t with someone, it doesn’t make things any better or easier. Conversely I reckon it makes it harder, till the day you realised you  have moved on regardless if the other has or not. Isn’t that an important point to realise, for someone who is left hanging? That the other has moved on and it doesn’t matter if you have or not.

We’ll still be friends. I think. With the realisation that love alone, isn’t quite enough sometimes. We failed to keep the momentum going and it is indeed a failure at both ends. This means when I embark on a new relationship, I will be wiser, smarter, will know what to do and all. The con is that I will of course be a lot more selective as I am definitely not one who yearns for being single or attached. I enjoy both scenarios and while there’s pros and cons in both, I strive to appreciate the pros more.

Thanks for the email, sorry for the long reply but I appreciate having the chance to put a full stop to things. There is no ‘we’ anymore. For now it will be ‘I’.

To the writer, I know how you feel towards me. I’m still touched by what you have done for me. It is very sweet. The fact is I am not sure if I am ready for another relationship. Probably not for the next year or so. However destiny and fate have their strange way of doings things right? I keep my options open.  This is a very crucial year for me for various reasons and if I make it through unscathed, I will be one up. I am still quite fatigued from the past few years and I am certainly not the one who can jump from one to another. I have low stamina maybe! Cannot fall out from a marathon only to jump onto another one right away.

All of us have long and windy roads ahead which we must ride through. I have every confidence that all of us will make it through as we’ll be looking out for one another. I keep a very small group of close friends whom I’m close at heart with and they matter a lot to me. One straight guy who’s my bestie, one straight girl, and one gay boy. How diversified! *L* And you have no idea, just how thankful I am for having them. It wasn’t so years ago and I neglected some along the way. Some in the past couple months, have been ‘downgraded’ to people I happen to know and nothing more. It is unfortunate but I feel one cannot be friends with everyone. It is just not emotionally and mathematically possible.

That’s all for now. Time to close the chapter on it. You have my assurance that it can be done and it will be done.

Coming up, comments on my little house warming session at Buangkok! I could actually live in this place I think. Thank goodness it was next to the NEL cuz I would have zero idea on how to get there otherwise! Wherever I go, I look for locations and ideas for the dream home of mine. Mine, along with my lil dogs!  I am not so concerned over the location of my own place (different from one for investment as location matters a lot) but rather be close to my friends. Married, or otherwise.

More on that coming up, next.

I was bored and I have like 30 mins before I get ready to go for a housewarming party.

So I decided to pick out an individual, whom I do not know personally, but someone in my network of friends do. For the record, I only know this character as a certain ‘Shaun’. My friends can testify to that.

Born 4th April xx,  he studies in RP in the biz fac. Does dragonboat. Routinely appears in Sentosa for beach vollyball with another group of friends that I know (this fact I already know beforehand by the way).  He is gonna be doing a tattoo soon in March. His name is Shaun LJS.

Okay the above took some 30 seconds.

And then I hit upon some info that annoyed me. It appears some stuff began at least 1 month before the breakup. The days leading into that breakup day, it got even ‘fancier’.

If I want to, I’ll dig each branch to form a jigsaw puzzle bout this character, down to who he’s been with, who’s around him, where he stays. And the malicious thing to do is to take that info and possibly conduct identity theft. The wonders of information isn’t it? In order to protect information I need to know how to gather it.

But I am not going to. He hasn’t done anything bad to me really. I’ll leave him alone. But I need answers from the ex. And I hope I get the truth. I got the partial truth. I have always wondered a couple things, to events leading to THAT event but I believe what I see doesn’t lie.

I was very disappointed, to the point I got pissed. And it began raining like it hasn’t been for very long. Coincidence perhaps. I can’t remember when it last rained like that, and how pissed I last was.

Even when we went to JB with Jay and Jayme, he’s been constantly in the loop. How does this equate to talking only after our split? And it is clear he’s soooo into my ex by then. I guess I know who you were talking to punching away on the keyboard those nights when I laid next to you ready to give some attention. I fell asleep waiting. And what I got now is ‘I refuse to let people tink I left you bcuz of him. He is too nice to be misunderstood that way’. Does anyone see what’s wrong with that line? I replied that it doesn’t matter anymore, what’s past is past.

Plus, the very least the folks around me did was to stay away. They knew how they felt. I knew how  they felt. But we kept our distances still, right up to that day and forward. I call that respect. Respect for the person you adore, and his partner as a couple. I have to give them credit for that.

The song on class 95’s About You Now. I used the song in a mix set I dished out before so I know how it goes.  No the lyrics doesn’t depict what I am feeling. But I do know more, About You Now.

Now that I have your attention, I’ll blog!

First of all, special shout out to BOOOONSUUUUUN. No I was not referring to you in the posts below. Is it good or bad?

Secondly, it’s all your favorite #1 hits on Class 95FM this weekend long! Okay so I like to do a lil advertisement but only to stuff of high quality in my books!

I’ve had a pretty good Friday, locking in profits from the stock market and here I am banging away at the keyboard (as if I haven’t done so for the whole day) while waiting for dinner.

So what shall I talk about.

Oh yeh. The title of the post. What is it about? I was just pondering how much of an attention seeker I am. I have done quite a few things in my life that I have a passion for and I am very glad of having gone there, done that, kinda thing. Radio was a passion. I pressed on and got my stint with Mediacorp Radio then. So that’s DJ #1. Not too long ago I developed an interest in club music, specific to the genre that I enjoy. So DJ CharlesMing worked hard and over the past couple years has done a few sets here and there, the latest being Revelations 2008 (link on the right). I like very few things, but those I do, I push hard for it. What else? I became a gym rat and got the results I wanted. What’s common here? I have retired from all of it! The tag line is ‘once upon a time..’. So what haven’t I done?

I have always wanted to be a vet. Didn’t managed to get in. The education system of the world I guess. But hey, didn’t your parents tell you to work hard when you were young? See? If you did, your options would be huge, isn’t it? This is a profession where you cannot go in, try it out and exit when you feel like it. Well you could exit, but you don’t go in there and prance around at all. Lives are at stake!

So what else? I wanted to be….. *drumroll please*.. a game show presenter!

No it will not be on shows like distraction. It would be similar to Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. A lil fun, loads of stress, suspense, and rewards! The personality for the show is important and I don’t suit a lot of shows. I am serious, witty, loves to make people go (!!!!!), loves to give them one thing but take back 10 things (sounds like our government), I can actually deliver and present (I think), and who doesn’t love a guy who gives away money????

So what’s in common. Hmmm… these are stuff that commands an audience subtly. Take the vet thing out but the rest, that’s what they do. A radio DJ these days does more than just play music and read the news. They deliver content. What does a club DJ do? Most of the time the clubbers don’t even know who the DJ is, they just go and party and enjoy the music. The DJ commands the floor. He takes them on a journey and you could go higher and higher with the music, or crash and burn. What does a gameshow host do? I hate the word ‘reality’ show. Survivor comes up and everyone’s coming up with different versions. U got American Idol vs ANTM. You got Don’t Forget The Lyrics (concept and lifelines similar to Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader while music is similar to Show Me The Money). Who Wants To Be A millionaire and last night I saw Hell’s Kitchen or something, where the top guy gets to be a big chef somewhere! The head chef cum presenter is this chef from hell. Very nasty. Very Very nasty. He’ll snap at you, throw stuff at you, toss your entire creation away if he doesn’t like it.. the works basically. And then you have the amazing race. When producers start copying ideas, how real is it these days? I see mini amazing races where presenters try hard to sound and be like the original host. FOR WHAT?

I like to play mind games. Imagine on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, contestent has got 500k and is going for 1 million dollars. I’ll keep messing up with his mind. The million dollar question is usually quite simple actually. Seriously it is far simpler than those at 64k levels and beyond. But by then, the host would have screwed your brains so hard even if you knew the answer for sure, you would be sure no more. Imagine, if you walk away, you walk with 500k. If you answer the question and get it wrong, you lose 468k as you drop back to 32k. Now that’s tough! Don’t Forget The Lyrics took the concept from the 5th grader show. If you clear all questions, you face that million dollar challenge. All life lines are revoked. U have to choose if you want to attempt it or not. If you choose to, you may not walk away with your the last sum in the bank.  Going for 1 million dollars, with 500k in your bank, if you choose to answer, that sum of money is no longer valid. If you answer and get it right, 1 million! If you choose to walk away, you drop back down to 100k. If  you answer and get it wrong, you drop all the way back to 25k. Amazing stress I tell u.

I love the concepts. They mess with your mind. They give you life lines but it is like an open book exam. Would u prefer life lines, or simpler questions where u attempt them all by yourself? Doesn’t matter cause without life lines, it is gonna be boring on TV!

I mess with people’s mind, but I’d love to give away money. But.. and a huge but, I will make them work VERY hard for it. Trust me on that.

Do I like to command? Maybe. I don’t know. But I like to capture audiences. I like my audience drawn into what I deliver. DJs are about what you hear. I have always been someone with more ears than eyes. When I watch game shows, do you know what I pay special attention to? The music. hahaha… weird right? Everyone’s on the contestant, or host. I look at audio and visual effects. I am always amazed by effects and I would like to draw people into it, cause effects affects moods.

Some have asked, over the years, if I will produce one of those crazy shows I did many years ago. They are still on the webbie, under chartlist I think. I did a final one with Mr Voice just after my dog died. That was it. Will I do another one? I don’t know. Maybe if I remember to buy a nice new mike (okay just a simple one will do) cause I have none.

So after blabbering all these while, anyone interested to know the details behind my love interests?

Glenn Ong made a statement today. That if you see him outdoors with another woman, don’t judge him. Yes, he did announce the seperation last Friday, BUT it does NOT mean they just broke up! It has been over a year and everyone has every right to date again. And they are still friends and that is how I like relationships to go. It did not end per se, but simply moved from romance, to something more platonic. Plenty of respect for each other still and loads of friendship. It is nice.

I think I have mentioned before. People whom I’ve met/dated some 5 years ago, have sorta returned to my life. Amazingly all within a matter of days after my last relationship ended. There were a couple but only one stood out. On separate occasions there were another few here and there who were once fond of me and interestingly after 5 years, they still are. I do feel blessed and honored, and that I have such market value (still?). Some of them have become very good friends of mine. Well not really some. Just one. I made loads of them cry. Some of them, I broke their hearts, others unfortunately, it wasn’t mutual.

Special mention to Ceddy T who’s a good friend of mine. One whom I can trust. One who’s somewhat lost in his world sometimes like how I am. Nonetheless he’s a good man (or still boy?) with a good heart whom I see, will take quite a fair bit of shit along the way but should be able to go quite far. I am thankful for the friendship cause somehow if we did go out together I think we might have become enemies for a while hah!

Ok let’s get things down and proper now.

Before I get into who they are, let me talk bout what sort of partner I reckon would tango well with me. And this is after what I have seen over the years. Damn this is gonna sound like I am selling myself.

I need someone who is patient and hence tolerate my moods and temperament. The good news is, over the past 1 year I have changed a lot. My emotions are a lot more under control. I don’t think I am as angry anymore, where I’ll pick a fight with whoever disses me. I haven’t thrown a temper for quite a while. I think it is VERY important to realise, normally I am a ‘peaceful’ harmless being, until someone throws a fit. Or throw some drama mama bullcrap. What happens is, I’ll absorb that aura, multiply by a 100 times, and out it comes in one fluid motion. Yes I have not been able to curb my instinct to retaliate. Someday I hope I will. But if someone hits me with a bottle of beer, I will smash them with an ashray. Happened many years ago in a club. I got hit by a bottle. I think it broke on my head, aint sure. It did hurt, a lot. And in those days you can smoke still and you remember those thick glass ashrays? Snatched one and swung it at the guy full force. I don’t think the ashray broke, but he was down for the 10 count.  Absorb, multiply, retaliate.

But that also means I absorb positive aura well too. The only thing it has to do is to overcome my negative aura. LOL! If it fails they get affected by me instead. I remember those clubbing nights where I used to have loads of fun, my friends who came along had a ball of a time too. I reckon. I took a str8 guy, down to party with us and he turned gay. Goodness. I think my frens know who this is LOL! We have smelt it on him.. but he insisted he was str8… oh whatever dude!

I don’t need someone to understand me. I need someone who can accept me. One doesn’t need to understand in order to accept. I look around and I see quite a few who are able to do just that. I, for one, dislike justifying stuff. I justify stuff at work all the time and I need to judge other people’s corporate justification and make a judgement call. I don’t want that in my own personal life.

I love my privacy. I do not think I am the kinda person where you move in with and live happily ever after. I need some nights alone. I really do. This I learnt.. and confirmed recently.

A lil wit, to keep me interested. The folks I have been with had some sorta thing in them that tickles me, makes me laugh and I stay interested.

No I do not need a horny brat contrary to what you all think! Sickos!

Communication, and this isn’t bout talking. Referring back to the point on acceptance. There are times I will talk ALL NIGHT (you ask my friends, they will tell u I can do it) and at others, I don’t say a word all week almost. I dislike being probed. When I am ready to say I will. Normally I am just too tired, or deep in my thoughts, or struggling to get it out of my head. Stop probing! When I just return home the last I need is a series of questions. I need to settle down.. first.

I need someone to love, and be loved in return. Sounds easy but is actually quite tough. Even tougher, is to keep that love alive. Sustainability. Not easy. I have been told I am ‘gifted’ as in I don’t usually have a lack of suitors so they say. What they don’t understand is, based on my personality, that can be quite a problem. I dislike rejection and I actually can be swooned pretty easily. The counter measure is, as easily as I am swooned, I can undo it just as easily. Most of the time anyway. However once I am taken, I will have little room for anyone else.

I can be a very foccussed and serious person. I need a fair balance in the partner. Neither too serious (else every night we will have discussions like how MPs do it in parliament) nor one who is too wacky where I feel like I am bringing my kid brother out.

Stability. I am quite sick of ‘training’ partners for the working world.  Seriously. I would like someone who can make decisions in everyday life. I am certain most can, even with my exes. I do tend to be protective and if I see something done wrong I jump in. This is not good for either party actually. I need to wean myself off this protective tendency.

Referring to privacy again, I can never, ever have someone who is possessive and sticky. Not just physically, but emotionally. I personally disagree to the notion that if you love someone, you’ll wanna always be around. Not for me. In fact if a person always lurks around one day I am gonna eat the person up.  Like how a lizard zaps a fly.

The list is not exhausive. But that’s the rough idea. Now that is what I need. But what can I offer? I think I can offer..

Hmmm… I think people should discover that for themselves yeh?????

So it is just a random thought that leads one to the other. Pls don’t take the above seriously.

So back to the 5 years thing. Someone once said, perhaps it wasn’t the right time. We head out, see the world, grow up and perhaps down the road we may continue from where we left off. Taking certainty aside from it all, I did ponder if those I have met 5 yrs ago have come around doing just that?

Some of them I have dated. Even though it is for one day and night (horrors!). The others, we just knew one another. But on the other hand, if we couldn’t tango back then, why would we be able to?

But this post is getting too long now. I shall move it over to another post, at another time!

Some I have dated, some I have not. Some are very special to me. some not so. Tune in next time to find out more! Heck I’ll tell you right now even. I’ll give you four names. 2 of them mean a lot to me. FYI, the other 2 names ‘may’ be bogus. I aint gonna tell you if they are. Sensitivity man.

But I’ll give you the four names. In random order.

Maybe I’ll use nicks instead. How bout that?

Okay okay I shan’t drag any further so here goes:

- Bunny

- Big Sweet Potato (BSP)

- Tigger

- Smiley

1 of them is special to me. 1 of them perhaps, I hope to make new dreams with.  Who are they? The answer, akan datang!

My colleague said it right. Maybe I got bad luck indeed. First my ext hdd was returned to me all spoilt. Thankfully my colleagues are savvy enough to extract the harddisk onto another casing and I am able to access the info again. I badly needed my mp3s back, while he wanted the photos back. I have a lot of disk space on this site so I am backing up my data online up here too. Since there is space I might as well utilize it eh?

And then yesterday my mp3 died! It had been giving me problems this week, refusing to charge properly and all. And I thought it was my pooter’s fault.. but yeh it was fine yesterday morning but when I tried to turn it on when I was heading home it refused to turn on! Rach’s one seems shakey too.. But I cannot function without music! Wednesday is gym day but I was feeling quite ill so I skipped it. Saw the doc to get some medicine and then met the girl to look around for my new mp3 player. Tangs carry iPods only which has no radio so that’s out. Their shoes are just as boring and the loafers well… not plentiful. Why Tangs? Cuz I have rebates on my credit card to be utilized from my lab series purchases during the 12% discount days.  Looks like it has to be utilized at another time.

Lucky Plaza sells the fake mp3 players.. eeek! Rach diligently suggested harvey norman so we  grabbed a cab down to Millenia.. only to find the selection there horrendous. Crossed the road to Suntec’s Carrefour but it was disappointing as well. But across carrefour is another HN and that’s where I found another samsung mp3 player! Why Samsung? I am a digger not only for design but sound quality. iPods are terrible. While my current set seems to be out of circulation already, we chanced on another one. Cheaper, yet newer. It had all I needed so I took a gamble and got the 4G one which has enough memory for me. I don’t do photos or vids and all. I also bought the HV extended warranty, 4 years extra at 30 over bucks. Think it is quite a steal cause i don’t see myself changing stuff often. The only reason why I need a new one is when I lost my stuff (rare) or when it kaputs.  So if this one kaputs at least I can bring it in, all for a good 5 yrs! Surely I don’t think it will last 5 years eh?

Took it home, tested it and I am VERY pleased with it! It also came with the condom cover and the arm band for gym activities. Always wanted one but never bothered much with it. Cool! I think it is a good buy! Came home, saw some emails and went onto my favorite online pyjamas shop and bought another 3 bottoms LOL! I wasn’t intending to but the designs were nice enough. So I am gonna keep them till the current sets get circulated due to wear and tear. I have been wearing them for a while and they last really long so I am happy! Yes I wear kiddo designs but I love them, so sue me!

Has anyone noticed the empty cabs everywhere? In town. Even lucky plaza had a whole string of cabs! That’s so rare isnt it. Down in CBD at 8pm is just as bad. Cabs queuing everywhere. No customers.  I really sympathise with them so I always tip them by rounding off to the next dollar or the next 10 dollars. In a bull year, if they raise prices people make noise and boycott them. In a recession like now, no one wants to take them. So it is like, they are so vulnerable to so many risks. Certainly one of the worst industries to be in.

Gonna head to bed soon. Take care all! *dances around*