Life For Rent

Started packing.. cause we’re gonna do some shifting in a couple days. I’ve always knew I will find ‘treasures’ and stuff misplaced but not forgotten. The ex didn’t clear it all and I still have quite a fair bit of stuff left over. The cards I used to write during anniversaries or as and when I felt like writing, I would. It is of no significance and into the dumpster it goes. There’s also an envelope of ticket stubs from the movies we’ve watched together. Movies like Norbit.

I take this as an opportunity to do massive clearing. Will I write another card? On an anniversary. On a special occasion. Or when I just feel like telling the other how I feel? I don’t know. I love the song ‘Bubbly’ by Colbie Calliat, but it awfully reminds me of the ex. It is a shame. A real shame.

I won’t call it a soft spot or anything even but it does bring back memories. Memories, that just might be all that a person has left.

To avoid a heartache, is to not get into a relationship in the first place. Don’t quote me. I am just writing it down and as strange as it sounds I totally disagree with what I just said. HAH!

I do get reminded of the good times, but I also get reminded of betrayal. It is strange yeh? How one or two things is enough to tear down everything. To flaw the flawless. Then again it is very likely it began with flaws, just that no one saw it.

I am keeping some stuff. Initially I hope to throw them all away. Delete the memories. However they were part of my life once upon a time. I would like to look back someday to that part of my life still. It’s what made Mark. It is what the world has given me.

I was on the phone with a good friend of mine. 8 years my senior, a brilliant guy in his own right. We were talking bout some stuff and one thing I got out of the whole conversation was something I have observed all along. At just 8 years my senior, he has his apartment(s), car, boyfriend, cash.. the works. What stands out was, he has virtually no more debt. Virtually zero financial commitments, loads of cash waiting to be invested, and loads more in gold, in stocks, and perhaps under his pillow and beneath his bed too (I know where he lives….I have been there! hee!!)

I asked him, how did he do it. That said I sorta already know how he did it. Cause you see, he is a scrooge. He is someone who will queue for a $1 parking redemption (vs me, I just don’t drive cause I totally HATE to queue. To put that into perspective, I go down to buy my lunch at 11.30 from the store almost all the time, so that I don’t have to queue!). Am I splurge? I don’t know. I still get chided over what I spent on the ex. Sure, I am a sucker I guess.

He and I are different in many ways. He’s older,wiser, hugely experienced, looks @ things from a business point of view (cause unlike me, he is self employed) but we are also alike in some ways. We both are of the ’same kind’.

I examined his character and lifestyle and I looked @ mine. We have both learnt a lot last year in the investment world. Through thick and thin almost. I was the technical analyst while he got a little burnt by catching falling knives. This year he has picked up the technicals and have since created his own investment system. Me? My FA still sucks. After all these while I can’t really grasp certain things. I examine his status right now, vs a mutual friend who’s the same age as him, and mine.

I am not quite sure of his long term goals. I know his mid term ones (he can retire now if he wants!) but I suspect our long term goals are different. Seriously if I could put it in one line – What happens after Dec 21 2012? You get my drift. I do not belong to the camp where people work hard only to hand money down to the next generation. In fact I told my mom, I don’t really care for my stake in the multi million dollar house she has. I just wanna move out and build my own shag pad. On my own. A helping hand is great but I certainly am not sitting and waiting for stuff to be handed to me on a silver platter. I belong to the camp where they say ‘you want it, you work for it!’. I’ll definitely leave some estate behind for family, brothers, etc… but do they need me to give them a million bucks each? I think they are capable of working for that million themselves just like I am doing. The fruits of my labor is rightfully mine, yet I can’t bring them all with me when I die. The idea is, I will not know how and when I die. This is not technically decided by myself, however I can choose how I would like to live my life.

My late aunt (who generously willed education funds to her nephews including me) was somewhat a scrooge. She ate healthily, she lived healthily. The stomach cancer relapsed during the SARs period when hospitals were postponing non-urgent checkups. By the time she went for her check-up it was too late. I have always wondered to myself, if she could live again, how would she do so. Would anything change? Would she have lived differently, ate differently (anyone who says they love dining on ‘grass’ is purely in denial)? Would she have gone on more holidays to enjoy life as she still had, brought people on holidays, bought stuff for herself, for others?

I have my own financial goals, and although I think I ought to tone down a little, I don’t really think I am doing things wrong. There is no point in spending money if you aren’t happy doing so, similarly why be miserable and scrimp every cent. My 38 years old friend started being a scrooge since he began working, and that’s when he was 25. That was 13 years ago. It also means if I put myself up against him, I am already 5 years late. He gives us a treat when he profits 100k from invesments. Damn. I made losses and I still give treats, cause I seek joy in seeing people enjoy and have fun. I can’t put a price tag on it. Ultimately the one who will pay dearly for that is me but like I said, I’m a sucker.

This is where Rach’s path will split from mine. She’ll get married, have kids, have a husband (a good one hopefully, for once). Her priorities will differ from mine although goals may remain largely similar.

By the way, stop asking me to be your future kid’s godpa and god-whatever. If I like kids I would have had my own! I can literally have (co-make) 200 million babies 100 million x 2) each day so stop booking ’slots’ for kids that aren’t even made yet! This is like booking a coffin for future use now!

There are gonna be many changes next year. I will have new goals to pursue, new decisions to make, and new experiences to be felt. As the year comes near to an end, I ponder if I met my own expectations for this year, if I attained my goals and resolutions, the hits and the misses (including the punches and kisses) and how all these will transit me into the next year.

The thing I have learnt this year is, I can be a sucker. It is ok to be a sucker for a year. It is however not ok for one to remain as a sucker for an extended period of time. This is what I remind myself each time cause a lot of my goals revolve around this, be it at work or in my personal life. The other thing I have also determined is, a scrooge and a splurge is not suited for one another. Somehow or another, one side will have to give way.  In the case of my dear friend and his boyfriend, he spoils the boyfriend in his own way (and definitely not the way I did with my ex). The friend spends his own money and the boyfriend earns and spends his own. He doesn’t agree to how the boyfriend spends money sometimes but he says ‘well, it is his money, as long as he is happy’. You’ll see, both have given way somewhat, yet they still do what they want. A relationship cannot work well if this is not resolved. Unfortunately for married couples with kids, more often than not this line is blurred simply because there are shared responsibilties and commitment.  So it is back to basics isn’t it. A scrooge and a splurge, can they work it through? You decide.

I’ll pen off with this quote from me, totally off the top of my head as I type – “Suck it once, lick it clean. Suck it twice, swallow till green!’

Be careful you don’t choke!

There’s no such thing as a failed relationship. Cause even if it doesn’t work out, you still learn something from it.

I briefly dated someone and while there are no irreconcilable differences,  we were poles apart. In the past I would have struggled to see how things could work out, but no longer anymore. I care enough for the person, that I don’t want the person to change because of me. I think I have done enough damage in the past.

I texted Alvin to tell him I’m dating someone. He commented ‘wow, with my work, studies, exams,house moving, and soon to be reno for my new apartment, how did I manage to stag a date?’. Ok those were not his exact words but somewhere along the line that’s what it was. I thought bout it and I replied ‘why not? Come what may, why let a good fish get away?’. It is a good fish. Like a super fresh salmon sashimi. Unfortunately I tend to prefer tuna. Red, nice and bouncy. Mekajiki is even better but in the absence of it, tuna would do.

Let’s call the date ‘M’. I set M free. Am I sad? Pretty. However I have my own ways of dealing with it. Rach would know how I can. What have I learnt? Indeed a relationship is not a priority. It has never been in my life, and I am not sure if it ever will. Suffice to say, what attracts me, what I go for and stuff, are non mainstream.

Unlike the average guy out there waiting to find a mate to get married to and begin a family,  I am in no hurry. I probably will not find the ideal mate. Am I prepared to wait? Yes and no. I have all the time in the world, technically. Do I wait? Not really. Life goes in and there’s just so much to do. I’ll know when I meet someone who’s right for each other.  Without allowing history to repeat itself, I hope to put what I have learnt in the past to good use. Not just for me, but for the other party too.

TGIFE! I coined the extra E. Stands for evening! What good does it do when it is TGIF morning?

Colin is now a father! Though a long labor and surgery was needed to deliver, both mother and daughter are safe and well and that’s the most important!

Looking forward to the baby shower. What do u give for a baby shower eh..

Had yet another indecent proposition.. everyone else has a mating season too??

Hello all! Back from Genting indeed. Felt more like a donation drive cum work trip than one that’s expected from a vacation but nonetheless it went alright. I don’t think my grandma enjoyed up to my expectations. Some r beyond my control but for the others I will strive to improve next round.

It was there that I found out my fav CK jacket actually has holes in the inner pockets. I didn’t realise them in perth and I wonder why. On closer examination it doesn’t look like it got damaged but rather it looks like it was meant to be that way. I dropped 2 things unknowingly though I first realised the holes were present when coins fell righ through. The most important thing that dropped through it was my card holder which holds some of my credit cards, driver’s ID, membership cards, my office door proximity pass.. stuff like that.  I realised it 30 mins before I was due to leave Genting! Had to hold panic down (I realise somehow I don’t panic anymore), checked in with the coach company and then began to backtrack my steps. Time was ticking away and when the first area where I was didn’t have my lil card holder on the floor, I decided my best bet was the lost and found counter. U see, I hold citibank credit cards and they have this citialerts. If my credit card was used I would have received an SMS alert, which I didn’t. It’s an awesome feature by the way, love it to bits. Anyways, I decided not to backtrack my steps to the other areas and made the critical decision to head straight to the lost and found counter though I highly suspected it wasn’t there. After all no one might have noticed the item still. Asked around and after a few queries (the casino police guys were pretty good at it actually) I found the counter. They had it! PHEW! So all in all, it was good. Noticed it missing in time before I left the mountain, went to the right place.. and it sure taught me a lesson with the holes in my jacket. I still love it though.. I was wondering if someone could sew it for me?

What have I learnt from the trip. In slots, the proper way to play it is to have enough capital to last. Secondly, always begin from the slot machine with the biggest stake. Eg if 10c machines are the biggest, begin with it. Once u win and the machine doesn’t appear to wanna give u more, quit and downgrade to the 5c machine. And then the 2c. If u went from 2c upwards, any profit from the 2c machines will EASILY be eroded with the 5c machines, ensuring u will leave with a loss. There is no guarantee the strategy will work, but take note of the machines that are often in use. There is a reason why a certain game is in popular demand. I love machines with feature games and they have this new Zorro machine with plenty of feature games. Stakes are 1c, 2c and 5c.  I have also gotten my directions right. For those who know me, I am terrible with directions and always need someone to lead the way around. My “GPS’ is just terrible! However this time round I was forced to use the defunct GPS and for those who know the casinos up there, it is a MAZE to walk through… I can now walk from highland hotel to first world hotel without any problems! Perhaps I may not take the best route but I know the way around at least!

Transtar Solitaire First Class was alright, but because I had huge expectations, it didn’t meet it somewhat. The bus and the seats were great but somewhat failed to meet the hype I had. In comparison, the night VIP grassland coach I took a few months back exceeded my expectations. I do like the fact Transtar doesn’t stop at Yong Peng. My conclusion? Transtar is good if u really wanna sleep undisturbed, or if you need to work on your way up to KL for a business meeting cause u have power points and a lil table for the laptop (also used for food which they serve on board). I took the same bus to and from Genting, PC 2 P, although I think there are 4 or 5 solitaire first class coachs in the fleet. They use that configuration for genting trips. For KL and other states, they use first class / premier configurations. So will I take it again? Well, I won’t be fighting for it. If Grassland double decker buses gives me a far better rate, I will grab it.

It’s halloween today and the weather has been freaky! JJs suggested dinner when I was in class this morning and I accepted it. Jay was in a bad mood probably cause of the lousy closing in the US markets on Friday which will eventually lead to a sell off come monday here in Asia.. probably. Sigh. The market has been untradable for quite a bit. It has been like this in Q4 for the past few years so perhaps it will repeat itself again…

It was either Liang Court for japanese food, or M hotel.  I took a nap cause I was dead tired and got Jayme to give me a wake up call in case the alarm bell failed to wake me.  True enough it didn’t but I woke up at about 7 and dialed her back. This place is called Tiffin, at M Hotel. Semi buffet style. U order a main course from the selection and u get to do the other stuff on the buffet spread. Sashimi (tuna, salmon), satay, crayfish, prawns (chilled), mussels.. oysters are all a yay. Desert wise they had the ice cream (but skipped it cause we were too full!), fondue, duriah puree (a must try) and an assortment of cakes and stuff. At around 45 bucks a pop, I would say it’s an alternative place to head to when u are feeling hungry. The crowd’s alright (they don’t push u along the buffet line) and the staff are friendly and attentive. It is a yay, from me, the chub club chairman.

We decided to take a look at how people were dressed for halloween so we drove past clark quay. Not a hell lotta interesting sights but people were generally jolly and friendly! I also came out with an idea of a costume.. somewhat adhoc. We joked bout it in the car and it was hillarious. Of course the lamest idea could turn out to be the coolest idea.. to me the  angels and demons and mummies are all over rated and overused. I would laugh my ass off if I saw a mummy in the open and the skies poured their juices down….!

Mhd Sultan Road was totally dead. It is quite sad… in those glorious days when I was still a kid trying to get into places like Wong San / Mdm Wong / Ta Jie it was THE place. I don’t quite know where THE place is now.. Clarke Quay was filled to the brim.. the queue for Zirca extended ALL the way PAST the taxi stand.. and it wasn’t even 11pm yet. Good grief. It looked worse than the snaking queues at Zouk.

Dempsey it was, that we decided to take a peek. It is a lot more different there, but we headed to House anyways to take a look. OMG their toilets are worth checking out. The ladies is termed ‘Pussy Cat’. Go there to findout what the gents is termed as..

Try the lychee martini which has vodka mint and champagne in it. I love it! Rach mei mei can we learn how to do this next time pls at our shag pad??

Next bit of news I wanna share with u is, I’m seeing someone! We watched My Sister’s Keeper.. it is a story of how a child was born for the sole purpose to save her elder sister who has lukemia and multiple organ and renal failure as a result. Both parents and the brother were not a match as a donor.. but a test tube baby can be genetically ‘configured’ to ensure 100% compatibility. The baby who eventually grew up to be a fine lil girl, sued her parents for making her undergo the procedures and tests. She wants to be medically emancipated. We figured she wanted to stand for her own rights and it was a battle between her standing up for her own rights VS what her mom wants her to do. The reason why she was created in the first place. There is a slight twist to the story line as to why she did what she did. It’s not bad at all and although I wouldn’t say it’s worth 10 bucks (though the company would be priceless) go catch it some time though!

We had our dinner at The Cathay Restaurant. Thought it was some eatery (I was interested to try cause of some credit card discounts) but it turned out to me cantonese cuisine! I was alright with it though but more importantly my date had to be fine too. We had a good seat and I really liked the food and view. What made it sweeter was, my date had a pressie for me. A self sewed stuff toy! Suffice to say it probably didn’t look as good as the stuff u buy off the shelves, but it was done for me and with a lot of effort. To me, that was perfect. I love it! I’ll be putting it on my office desk and I will capture a shot of it for all of you to see. Thanks dear.

We both had to be in SMU for various reasons at 9am so the date bunked in with me. The rain was horrendous last night and activating a cab was a nightmare even. What’s with the heavy squalls of rain of late??

Let’s see how things pan out. I have never been the person who struggles to be in a relationship. I do not actively pursue, but if someone comes along n things are good, why not? Someone commented that when a person is desperate to find someone, it’s all in the air and people staty away from them. Conversely for the others, the harder it is to win them over the more market value they seem to have.  I don’t know. I don’t really bother. It is just my character and how I handle things. Being single has its perks and so does being in a relationship. None is better than the other. What is worst, is to be with the wrong party.

I came across this QnA thing, found it quite meaningful and decided to post it up with my comments below -

Question: I’ve been looking for a partner for the past 7 years but I have not been able to sustain a relationship for more than 6 months, though I have to admit that it was me who initiated the break-up. Any advice?

Nathan : My guess is that you initiated the break up because you feel that the person or the relationship is less than ideal and you feel that you’ll be better off finding someone new. You know exactly what you want and that’s good but the problem is what we want may not be for good for us and often what’s good for us may not be what we want.

- I so so agree to the portion in bold.
Sometimes we hold so tight to our set of criteria and expectations for our partners that when they do not fulfill them, we just give it up, stop trying and move on to the next target. The good thing is that we increase our likeliness of finding the ideal one but perhaps we could have stayed longer to see the fruits of the current relationship. What isn’t ideal could turn out to be good for us, what’s lacking in the other person perhaps we can complement.

- Neutral on this. On my own experience,  neither love at first sight or love through time has  a better success rate over the other. Point is, things have to be right from the start. If it isn’t, it could spell loads of trouble. I dislike getting into a relationship with someone when there is a whole baggage of differences to bring in. It is ok to have differences. There will bound to be, but to have major ones early in the game just tells me the 2 people involved are not suited for one another.

I think we always have to acknowledge the fact that people have imperfections and as much as we are getting used to others’ imperfections, they are getting used to ours too. A relationship is about accepting imperfections and trying to value add to each other’s life, not just about finding what you want.

- I did say before it wasn’t about finding the perfect person but rather to find the perfection within the imperfect body. We may not agree to everything bout the other party, but question is, can u accept the traits and character of the other?

Perhaps you might want to reflect upon your past relationships and see if your criterias and expectations, if they are realistic and truely good for you. I think only you can figure what really went wrong in your past relationships.

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Good night all! Happy Halloween!