Questions
Am I happy in the relationship?
Can I provide the other party what he/she needs? Can the other party provide what I need in a relationship?
Are the goals in life similar? It does not have to be identical. This will test both party’s ability to communicate and meet halfway. It will come back to point 1. Will you be happy doing so? Sacrifices are not sacrifices to a willing party. I know I will go many extra miles for the person I love willingly cause I want to. I won’t get weary of it, cause it would never have been seen as a sacrifice. Do you end up counting beans? ie, do you list what you did for the person and argue who put in more?
Is the person happy with me?
One would be surprised with the answers sometimes. You’ll think you’re doing a fine job, but surprise surprise, the truth may be quite the opposite.
All of that, aside from the big question of love. There is usually no question bout how one feels towards the other.
Is love enough? Sometimes, it just isn’t.
I agree with my dear, everyone wants a car. I do too. It is convenient. It is not a showcase of how successful I am though. I can’t say if I think similarly like the others. My opinion is, a house first, before a car. I want to build a home, a love nest fast so I can share it with the person I love. My sanctuary. My crib. My shag pad. My car will come eventually, but much later..
I ask myself, what would I do if I have 10k to spare. What if I have 100k to spare. The answer is the very similar.. a million bucks however, will have slightly different answers and that is because with that amount I have more ‘buffer’, ie I have more disposable income. My priorities in life changes whether I am single or with someone. That’s cause I want to give him and give us a comfortable home and life. Do I need a home? Yes. Do I need a car? Not really, I’ve sorta travelled ‘chauffer driven’ for the longest time. I want to make money work harder on its own so I can realise the big and small dream.
It bugs me a little when people think I mind certain things bout them. Especially the people I love. Do I appear so superficial? Or perhaps, do I appear to be so different from the rest and view things differently? It kinda worries me here and there cause it makes me wonder if the person I’m with is rather mainstream. It is okay to be so, but not that cool if I carry that misconception from the start. Am I the only person who seems to peg ‘loving someone for who he is’ differently from the rest? I am generally tired of people chasing after looking good just to keep me interested. More often than not, it will make me lose interest instead, as it has in the past. Or did I do something to make the other party have so little faith in me. I too, will get old one day, get uglier one day, look less attractive one day. I can only hope I won’t be thrown out like the bath water one day cause of that.
I adore my mei mei for who she is and how she looks. It don’t matter how she looks or how fat she is. Suffice to say I am not romantically related to her but when it comes to love, I fall in love with a person, an individual, not an outer shell? Physical attributes attract, that is for sure. When it comes to love however, is it not on a separate plane? An attractive person is someone who is comfortable with himself or herself. That does not imply the person cannot dislike certain areas. I don’t like some parts of myself either, but I’m somewhat comfortable with myself for this is who I really am. The in and out of me.
I can never fall in love with a perfect body. However, I can fall in love with the perfect someone within an imperfect body in an imperfect world.
I love you dear. I have asked the same questions I posted, among many more before I set out a committment. I can only hope.
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