Life For Rent

I was reading this blog belonging to someone. Let’s call him ah boy.

Ah boy was in love with A. Why was? Well, read on.

A, from what I read doesn’t give him that sense of security ah boy needs. Some extracts:

“after church we went to buy some stuff to prepare for Xmas and head back to his new apartment.
Now, the new apartment is really beautiful. But i’m still a guest cos A reckons that he needs time to ‘introduce’ me as his new ‘flatmate’ to his parents when they come back in Feb..”

“how many guys have i dated that is totally out and doesn’t care in the world that their parents won’t mind that their son is queer? maybe only one! being my first bf?

even though A told his parents about being queer, they still cannot accept it.. prefer not to talk about it..

but i do not want to be in this situation AGAIN for the 3rd time. … no way..”

Ah boy came back to Singapore recently, and met up with B, his spiritual online brother of 2 years. Long story cut short, things went very well for both of them. The time came and ah boy had to leave to return back to sydney.

“We packed and kissed. Once again, he held my hands while we were at the door, and prayed and kissed. I slipped in a note into his jeans pocket and texted him later to read it. He was surprised and was very touched.
He told me he was crying while talking on the phone with me and was gloomy the whole day in the office.

I am speechless… why is there such a nice guy like B?
And why do I have to find him at this moment when I have to leave Singapore and go back to my life in Sydney?”

” I was so depressed on the plane back. Flying back to Sydney have never been a joy. The Qantas flight was unbearable and I was sulking and kept to myself the whole time.
And the stupid customs confiscated my Ba Gua!

I saw kor as he picked me up and he noticed something was wrong.
The next evening, we had a drink at home and I poured out my heart to kor and told him what happened.
I thought he would scold me for getting into a love thing again but he told me he was very very happy for me!

He felt that this is something that can be develop further. That I should not give up so easily.
So, what should I do?”

My first thought was, it appears to be a rebound. I mean how do you jump from one to another so quickly. Perhaps it is possible, just not something I can do. I thought bout it again. Perhaps, the distance was meant to be. To test if this would turn out to be a rebound, or something else. Time will tell won’t it. Everyone’s swimming in the sea and all you can see are heads bobbing up and down. A huge wave comes and washes everyone onto land. Now, it will be clear who was swimming naked all this while.

Ahboy doesn’t look young, and I don’t think he is. Yet love doesn’t exactly discriminate that way. We do. It doesn’t discriminate across the different sexual preferences. We do. How do 2 people who were matched made, who have never even seen each other before their wedding day, possibly live together. With acquired love? They do.

Then perhaps, many ‘i meet u first’ relationships may be doomed to fail from the start. Simply because both parties may have brought in so many emotions and expectations into the relationship. Something that a relationship cannot withstand.

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