Life For Rent

Wow hey that rhymes somewhat. Just off the top of my head.

My last post was such a long time ago indeed. The CNY cum vday weekend was great! I had a good rest and it was during this period my insomia seemed to have melted away. Think I have a lot to thank my dear for. It was quiet, eventful and all.  We had good meals, began afresh after the last big quarrel which we did set ourselves out to do better in things and I am happy to say it has worked out wonderfully. My dear’s really sweet and has learnt how to handle me while I’ve learnt a lot on how to handle ‘us’ together. I have still quite a fair bit to improve on but I think I will! Great days, wonderful nights, I actually got depressed when it all ended but it wasn’t for too long thankfully

Pictures and all are on my facebook. I have been wondering if I should put them up here..

I’ve also gotten my brand new trunks from TYR and a pair of new goggles from TYR too, all from my dear. I love them! It has given me a huge incentive to get back into the pool, something that has made me happy and has melted quite a lot of stress away. Comparing today to the start of the month, I am happier, less uptight and cranky, more positive and stuff and I do really have to thank my dear and mei mei for walking the pricky roads with me during this time. THANK YOU..!

I’ve also been busy with looking up interior designers (I am still open to knowing new ones so let me know if u have someone to recommend!) and I have visited Harvey Norman, and other places to get a feel of things. You know I’ve always said, things happen for a reason. I was set to buy 3 beds from Sealys at Tangs. I needed my credit limit reviewed so that I can swipe all 3 beds at once to get rebates and points. I said if my review was done in time I will buy. It didn’t.  Instead I was at Robinsons last weekend, strolled into Serta and there and then I got a deal on the mattress that I wanted. A deal that I couldn’t refuse. It was at a 80% discount! So that would have been my first purchase.

Today I strolled into expo and walked away with a bed for mei mei! She tried it, she liked it. I tried it and I said its a yes too. I just needed the price to be right. It was expensive, but a deal was also worked out and after considering a few things, I went ahead with it. I don’t think it is impulsive though. I have seen many TVs that were tempting, yet not tempting enough for me to buy on the spot. Same goes for the washing machine cum dryer, and the fridge. Good offers but I have yet to make my move and use the ‘tatics’. I can’t really state what they are but if you do wanna know I can tell u in person!

I don’t want people to visit my place n head straight to our beds to try it out. Beds are a very personal area for me and I am very particular about who gets on it. I can smell n detect if someone else has been on it, even if it’s for a split second. Seriously. Very personal. What I can disclose is, the price of my king bed and her queen bed combined is a near 5 figure sum. Combined, we paid 30% of the price. I think it’s quite good. I am happy. Happy that I have a bed that I like that I can share with my partner and rest comfortably on. I will also sleep better at night knowing my dearest mei mei will be zzzzz away nice and comfy too. You see, it pains me a lot to see that she has her problems with her sleep cause I know too well myself, what insomnia and a terrible sleep will do. I was fighting with my partner at least once a week and it was all just so tiring. If something lets me rest better and puts me in a better mood it benefits not just me but people around me. The net result? Priceless!

Next up, to finalize stuff with the IDs, complete the property transaction, buy my washing machine cum dryer and the fridge. TV aircon etc etc can wait for now.

Gonna head to bed soon. Gota pick my dear from the airport, head back and stuff  before heading out for some sing-a-long. There are major events happening this week. The arrival of one mattress (can’t wait and mei mei I promise when u get it, it will be as how I got it, except maybe it carries a lil of my scent only hehe), completion of the property (which means I will become the legal owner of it), sashimi, malacca road trip, and more! I can’t wait..!!

Time to head to bed for now. I’d like to wish everyone a very happy CNY, may each one of you attain the dreams that you’ve wished for soon! It’s the 15th day so I am not too late still!

I ish gonna make it happen, make it perfect, make it nice, make it sweet, make it worth your while! I wanna be fitter, better, focussed. Thank you for giving us a chance. Thank you for all the things you have done for us. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for loving me. I wanna be yours, till the day my life is through, this I promise you.

Today is a new day. Today, I’d like to rediscover each other again. There is a lot to say but that’s the gist of it. It will be a better new year.. and great new year(s) that we will share together.

I have been dealing with some assholes at work and guess what, I am dealing with one now. Reading his email just made my ears go red as I felt my fury rise, ready to erupt. How do I handle it? I just keep thinking of someone.. what I will be doing tonight. Who’s arms I will be in, and who willl be in my arms. I simmer down almost instantaneously..

I need to unload. I’m heading off to a buffet reunion dinner in town in just a bit, with very little appetite. I do however have business to settle with my mom over the house. Weekend oh weekend.. please come soon.. take my misery away..

For the uninitiated, ID = Interior Designer.

I cannot fault the designer for giving me something rather mainstream cause i did not give much info upfront before the appointment, so a redo of the floor plan will be done. They had a few areas well thought of but it’s a flat and I would expect them to have a good idea on how to solve the problematic areas. That is what they are hired for.

I have also decided who takes which room and I now know what I wanted for the bathroom is not feasible. We will have to contend with 1 WC and 1 bathroom. We could however break the wall in between, extend it out and possibly put a sink on the outside. I wonder how it can be done due to the washing machine and stuff that is gonna be there but the designer said ‘leave it to him’. I shall see.

Was on leave today so went shopping. I’m gonna leave the joint bank account aside for now, KIV indefinitely.  What’s meant to be will be, what’s not meant will not be.  I know a lot of people will disagree and fight for what one thinks he or she wants. I was once like that, but decided to adopt a ‘fate and destiny’ style to manage expectations and disappointment.

I am still gonna source out IDs and will work on some issues between the seller and HDB prior to completion date.

Was out on a shopping spree but wasn’t much in the mood for it for various reasons. Saw little that interest me. The one or two that did was on sleepwear but the price was not right. I did get to try on the mattress that I want to purchase soon and I got the confirmation that I needed, that I should get it. Tangs is having its 12% off this week and the whole world seems to know, except me. I used to get smses and all from citibank I presume, but did not get any anymore. Thank goodness Rach told me.. the timing is somewhat wrong but whether I buy them this week or not, I will leave it to fate again. If I get my credit card limit review done in time, and to the amount I need I will go and buy. After all I am buying 3 sealys mattresses. They will eat up  a lot of my credit limit.

Jayme thinks it is my niao period when I said I did not get anything. Whole day out and got nothing, she said. I said yeh I didn’t get to see what I wanted and even if I did the price wasn’t right. In the past, I wouldn’t go home without buying something. It would make me extremely annoyed in a sense. It also means I would just pay the price that they are asking for. No longer.. I am stingy with money for a few reasons. To the point I asked if I was getting miserable. Thankfully no not yet.  I knew if I did see something I really wanted I would. JP got a pair of jeans from his fav brand and I reckon after trying it out, it was a good buy at just $115. A top he wanted with a hood (i like hoods but think I have outgrew them..?) at $99 was a no go in my opinion. I did try on a shirt from zara that I like and it was on sale but atlas the size doesn’t fit. Too big for me. Once again, it is fate.

I badly want a vacation. A massage. Quite a lot of things. Things that I currently do not have the budget for. Is it painful? Yes. Should I spend before I earn like the past? Maybe. I really wanted to set aside money for bigger stuff though and hence I am holding back a great deal, carefully considering what I buy, where I eat and what I do.Unfortunately I have been rolling back on one of my commitment to stay off something for health and wallet reasons. They do help me to stay awake quite a bit (I am still a little backward in resolving my mini insomia) and it allows me time to take a step back, and regroup and recollect.

I am planning a trip for July during my birthday week. I intended to set aside an amount for it but I do really wonder when the time comes, will there be a budget set aside early enough for it? It will take quite a few months to do so and it is already February.

Perhaps I will adopt the whatever should happen will happen attitude to it. I figure I will survive somehow. It will be tough, outflow being more than inflow (other than my waist which unfortunately is the other way round) but I hope in good time when I settle down in my little crib it will get better. It is a huge step for me, and other than Rach I don’t reckon anyone else seems to understand the significance. It is a crib built for myself primarily, but also for people who are close to me. Rach will understand, and she deserves every little bit of whatever I can provide.

My thought of the night – Why can’t a romantic relationship seem to forge a stronger bond, than one that is platonic or like how Rach and I are, in nature. I am just thinking bout this in general.. but why it just feels right to co own a place with her (as in co buy a property), but not with a partner? Maybe it is possible. I can’t speak for Rachel for sure but I will just assume what she and I see is similar. That is, that we can’t somehow see that, even in the future. If I could just add 1 emotion to it, it would be that it hurts. If relationships are fragile, then the romance one seems to be the most fragile of the lot? At least, for people like me.

Just the top of my head. I have never heard of a woman divorcing or leaving her man, just cause he grew a pouch. Yet I have seen people who have been in a 8 year relationship, turn their back on each other even after so many years cause one or the other looks older/uglier [fit in any other word].  If I may say, it is quite sad. There is very little to what I can do on my own. What will be, will be.

 Anyway here’s the 5 love languages! While everyone speaks in a different language, these 5 are common to all. Or so how it should be according to Dr Chapman.

• Words of Affirmation
  This is when you say how nice your spouse looks, or how great the dinner tasted. These words will also build your mate’s self image and confidence.
• Quality Time
  Some spouses believe that being together, doing things together and focusing in on one another is the best way to show love. If this is your partner’s love language, turn off the TV now and then and give one another some undivided attention. 
• Gifts
  It is universal in human cultures to give gifts. They don’t have to be expensive to send a powerful message of love. Spouses who forget a birthday or anniversary or who never give gifts to someone who truly enjoys gift giving will find themselves with a spouse who feels neglected and unloved.
•  Acts of Service
  Discovering how you can best do something for your spouse will require time and creativity. These acts of service like vacuuming, hanging a bird feeder, planting a garden, etc., need to be done with joy in order to be perceived as a gift of love.
• Physical Touch
  Sometimes just stroking your spouse’s back, holding hands, or a peck on the cheek will fulfill this need.

Determining Your Own Love Language

Since you may be speaking what you need, you can discover your own love language by asking yourself these questions: 

• How do I express love to others?
• What do I complain about the most?
• What do I request most often?

Speaking in your spouse’s love language probably won’t be natural for you. Dr. Chapman says, “We’re not talking comfort. We’re talking love. Love is something we do for someone else. So often couples love one another but they aren’t connecting. They are sincere, but sincerity isn’t enough.” 

Emotional Experiences

The number one emotional experience reported by folks is feeling the presence of God in their lives. The emotional high of being in love (which generally lasts around 2 years) is the second highest emotional experience that people reportedly have. 

That is why it can be so difficult to try and talk some sense into someone who is in the midst of falling in love. Chapman stated that obsessive love can render people mentally incompetent. “There’s not much difference between being in love and being insane.” 

Fading Tingle and Empty Love Tanks

After the first or second year of marriage, when the initial “tingle” is starting to fade, many couples find that their “love tanks” are empty. They may have been expressing love for their spouse, but in reality they may have been speaking a different love language. The best way to fill your spouse’s love tank is to express love in their love language. Each of us has a primary love language. Usually, couples don’t have the same love language. 

Tank Check

Dr. Chapman recommends that you have a “Tank Check” 3 nights a week for 3 weeks. Ask one another “How is your love tank tonight?” If, on a scale from zero to ten, it is less than 10, then ask “What can I do to help fill it?” Then do it to the best of your ability. 

The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.